Page 57 of My Shy Alpha

Noah freezes, and his emotions dip in concern.

But I can’t stop smiling. “No, it didn’t hurt. I couldn’t believe that either. It felt amazing, the whole time.”

“Aww, honey, I’m so happy for you! You’ve come so far.”

Caressing my back in a massaging cuddle, Noah kisses my shoulder silently. His hands stop on my hips, and although he pauses, the silent suggestion that he’s ready to give me more anytime is enough for wetness to seep into my underwear.

“It sounds like you went outside your comfort zone, and had a great time while you were at it,” Jenny says.

“I really did. Well, I’m still having a great time.”

“Oh? Are you saying you’re planning on seeing each other again?”

Forget just my cheeks, my whole body flushes. “I’m - um - actually in his bed right now.”

Jenny cackles so loud I have to lower my phone volume, and I laugh with her.

“I actually plan on seeing him for a long time. I can’t believe it, but I feel like he’s an important person in my life. I–” I swallow my words, nerves pounding through my arteries. “I really like him, Jenny.”

I’m talking to Jenny, but that was for Noah. He nuzzles into my neck, stirring my wolf into giddy shivers.

“Aww, honey, I’m just so happy for you.”

I swallow hard, dread creeping through my excitement. It’s so familiar to me that I don’t stop the compulsion in time, the insidious creature worming through my brain and out my mouth beyond my control.

“Y-you don’t think I’m being irrational or moving too fast, do you?” I ask.

Jenny breathes, and my heart kicks up in worry. Noah holds perfectly still.

He’s probably confused. He doesn’t know how damaging even an innocent question can be. How “just one” will lead to just one more. And one more. Until I’m buried beneath a pile of fearful behaviors I hate, struggling to navigate even the simplest tasks.

Jenny’s steady voice snaps me back into focus. “I’m a little torn as to if I should give you reassurance or not; that sounds like a compulsion.”

Oops. Noah’s wolf ears heard that, but does he know what Jenny means by a compulsion? “Okay,” I say. “Or, well, I know. I didn’t mean to. I hope it’s not disappointing, or–”

I wince - there goes another tiny one. There’s a brief pause. Jenny is being careful not to reassure my anxieties into cycling more, just like I had to do with Noah last night.

“I-I mean, I caught that one after it slipped out too,” I say.

Jenny’s smile shines through her voice. “It happens that way sometimes, doesn’t it? And Aliya, I have to say it’s the first time I’ve heard you so sure about how you feel with someone.”

I smile. “Yeah. I’d have to agree with that.”

“Do you feel like it aligns with your values to pursue this relationship?”

I hug Noah closer, rubbing my forehead against his neck, and he shivers. “Yes. Absolutely.”

“If your gut says you want to be close, then keep acknowledging your fears and do what you’d be doing if those fears weren’t there. I know you’ll get there. Keep following your instincts, just like you’ve been practicing.”

My heart throbs against Noah’s chest as he turns his head, meeting my eyes. I flush as he strokes my cheek, beaming at me.

As we hang up, my gut twists with anticipation for Noah’s thoughts. Before I called, I didn’t think about how Noah would hear everything, but he’s the one who brought out my wolf - the true, unfiltered side of me I’ve always hidden away. It’s so easy to be my genuine self around him that it felt natural to let him hear. I just hope he was okay with everything I said.

But as Noah lifts his chest to hover over me, his grin widens, and my worries wash away.

Noah dips to kiss me, his shoulders flexing above his outstretched arms like a prowling lion. I slide my palms up them, caressing all the way up his neck. With my fingers tracing gentle circles over the golden spot I marked, Noah purrs into my mouth.

I immerse my fingers into his hair, spreading my legs for him, and Noah lowers himself flush against me.

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