Page 114 of My Shy Alpha

Unfortunately, I haven’t told him the worst of it. I peek at him, unsure how he’ll react. “I was denied a restraining order since we were dating when ‘the thing’ happened.”

Noah’s wolf is set ablaze, burning through his yellowed irises.

But I can’t stop talking. “I have no idea if he’s a Lycan, or how I’d even know. God, he could track me so easily no matter where I went if he is. You think he could be here? That he’ll–”

“No.” Noah tucks my head against his chest. He frantically kisses my mark, soothing the petrified, sour scent emanating from me. “No, he’s not in the pack. I just checked.”

I droop into Noah, swimming in overwhelm. It’s a relief, but at the same time, it’s not. Steven still exists out there, and I’ve always been afraid he’d come back for me someday. The only thing keeping me in this state - no, this country - has been Amy.

But there’s a tangible, creeping memory behind Noah’s tense glances over his shoulders too. Is it his PTSD reminding him of a past event, or should I be watching out for Noah’s well-being too, protecting him from something? Someone?

I bite my lip, struggling to keep my heart in check. “What about you? Do you feel safe here?”

Noah avoids my eyes. His thumbnail-picking morphs into an aggressive task. I sit in silence with him for a while, but as his breath picks up, I grasp his hands to stop his shaking thumbs before he makes himself bleed.

“Noah, you never have to tell me anything.”

He furrows his brows, sucking in a short, sharp breath to speak. But he remains silent. Maybe he decided against speaking, or maybe the trauma he’s plagued by stole his voice.

My gut aches for him, but it’s nowhere near the pain seeping from the base of our bond as Noah recollects whatever this is. It kills me that Noah has been carrying this agony alone.

I give his hand a soft squeeze. “I mean it. You don’t owe me any explanations, even if I’m your mate.”

Noah shuts his eyes, letting out a slow breath.

I figure that’s his answer - he can’t talk about it right now - so I settle into him with my arm around his waist.

But Noah clears his throat. When he speaks, there’s an unfamiliar darkness to his rumbling tone, lacing my body with goosebumps. “I don’t know where mine is either.”

Acidic anxiety surges through my veins. So Noah’s trauma was caused by a person, not some freak event?

Noah is such a confident Alpha. But by admitting he doesn’t know where his monster is, his wolf bristles in our bond - doubling in size and morphing into a furious, drooling beast. This intimidating display would scare anyone, but I can feel the emotions tied to it.

He’s terrified. Noah feels small, insecure, and way too exposed. Whatever happened wasn’t just horrendous but felt deeply personal.

A growl escapes my chest, my arms locking around my mate on instinct.

I understand Noah’s fears about me now. What if his abuser comes back? If Noah is this afraid, does that mean his monster is as strong as him? Even stronger than him? In what world could my part-human flesh be strong enough to fight anyone of Noah’s caliber?

A soft chuckle escapes Noah as he loosens my death grip. “My sweet Omega. Goddess, look at your little fangs extending again. How did I get so lucky?”

My shoulders soften as we meet eyes. Affection overflows from Noah’s stare, the darkness I saw moments before dissipating by the second. He’s okay. At least for now.

I nuzzle into his shoulder, letting out a grumpy groan. “I hate that I’m so little.”

Noah’s deep laugh rumbles through my chest. “You’re not little in spirit.”

I scowl, and Noah laughs again.

He kisses the top of my head. “You don’t have to protect me. It’s oka–”

“I will. I have your back now, just like you have mine.”

Our thoughts swirl, filling the silence. After tracing my cheek with his thumb for a while, Noah mutters, “We are a pretty great team. Bad things could happen again, but they don’t have to. Who knows - especially with this badass Omega by my side.”

I smile, welcoming the uncertainty.

Uneasiness mills through our bond, but so does a satiating warmth. Noah huddles into me, scooting me closer by the hips.

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