“I must leave him again to get Paul?—”
“No. I called George. He and Patrick are getting him home.”
“He’s supposed to call me with arrival instructions. I don’t even know what that means. We cannot?—“
“Come. Put the baby in the sling. Let’s go,” Elisabeth said in her mother tongue.
“Where?”
“To the beach. Let’s walk.”
Sanne groaned.
“Sanne, come on. The baby needs some sunshine. The day is almost gone. Let’s go.”
They walked down to the beach, baby strapped to Sanne in his carrier. He slept as they walked through the sand in the late-day sun.
“Sanne, you must go back eventually. You cannot stay here forever,” Elisabeth said.
“I just… I miss home like crazy when I go over there. I miss you. And I feel like if I leave, I will just… forget…”
“Your mom?”
Sanne felt tears bubbling.
“You hate to cry. Mom would want you to cry. Let it out. Who are you worried about? Me? I have cried more than ever in my life, Sanne.”
“I did cry when I dropped Paul at the airport. And… I want to cry, but I am struggling to. I keep holding the baby and praying I will wake up and everything will be fine.”
“Oh, Sanne, min skat, you will be fine. Mom wants you to live. She needs you to live—you and Linny are the best thing we ever did. You have so much of your mom’s determination in you. She’d hate to see you hiding in the house like this. It’s not normal. It’s not you. Last I heard, you loved your new job.”
“It’s good, but I don’t feel like being on right now.”
“I don’t think anyone is asking that last I checked.”
“We just… we spread her ashes and… I feel like we now must move on like it never happened. But every day, Mamma, I look out across the kitchen after making coffee and wish she was there, coming to bother me or complain about something. Oh, I miss her. Life just is not the same.”
Elisabeth wrapped her arm around Sanne’s shoulders. “It never will be. But we must move on. Grieve the loss and move on.”
“How?”
“Sanne, you just had a baby. He is so precious. Go out, show him the world, and live. His mother cannot be a recluse. She never was. Your mother loved this little boy so much. She’d want him to be shared with the world, not hidden away.”
“She barely knew him.”
“She knew him very well. She talked about him nonstop after we got back. Sanne, the grandkids were her world. That includes Keir. She thought everything of him—and you and Paul. She was always so proud of you. Be the woman she wanted you to be able to be. Be the mother who stands up for what’s right. Do that and your mother will rest easy.”
“What will you do?” Sanne asked.
“I haven’t decided yet. I will sometime. I’m not ready to make any plans.”
Sanne nodded. They listened to the waves lapping, their toes in the sand. It felt good. It felt like home. Sanne looked back over her shoulder towards the walk to her parents’ house.
“It’s almost like she’s gonna come down here any time.”
“I know,” Elisabeth chuckled. “I hear her laugh sometimes. I swear I can. I expect to look up and see her. And then? I miss her. But I luxuriate in the memory of her laugh. I worry someday I might not.”
Sanne teared up. “Me, too.”