Page 80 of Craving Chaos

My lungs seize tight on a wheezing gasp as though I’ve been sucker punched. “What are you doing here?” I blurt, my panicked brain unable to properly process as my skittering heart forgets how to beat.

Renzo’s entire face goes dark, each sculpted edge suddenly razor sharp. “What the fuck is going on? Where have you been?”

“You should go. This isn’t a good time.” I shake my head and inch backward.

Quick as a striking viper, he clasps my hand and tugs me into the elevator car.

“Renzo, please. I’ll call you tomorrow. I just need some space right now.”

“You can beg all you want. I’m not going anywhere except up to your place, where you’re going to tell me exactly what the fuck is going on.”

Like a wounded animal backed into a corner, I wrench my wrist from his grip and back away to the opposite wall of the elevator. “You have no right to demand anything from me.” I sound like I’m possessed, hissing at him for seemingly no reason, but I can’t stop myself.

Maybe I am possessed. Maybe that’s what he’s been trying to tell me all along.

Renzo refuses to give an inch, closing the gap between us and forcing my gaze to his with a hand cupping my jaw. “Good thing I don’t give a fuck about rights. I take what I want, and I’m done waiting.”

His lips slam down on mine, a sensual assault that makes my battered heart weep. With joy. With devastation. His kiss breaks me down to nothing and builds me back up, but underneath it all, I’m still the same flawed little girl I’ve always been.

I’m the first to pull back, tears finally cascading down my cheeks. “You want the truth. I’ll tell you.” My voice is toneless. As empty as my heart feels. “The guns, the kidnapping, it was all my fault. You were right to blame me.” As the elevator doors open behind me, I spread my hands wide in supplication. “I am chaos.”

CHAPTER 47

RENZO

I’m not sure what Shae is talking about, and I don’t care. She’s finally letting me in, and I intend to embed myself so deep inside her that she forgets how to function without me.

I walk her backward until we’re both out of the elevator, then place my hands on either side of her face and lock eyes with hers. I want to make sure she hears my words along with the sincerity behind them.

“I know exactly who you are, and it turns out that chaos is the best fucking thing to ever happen to me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Her eyes squeeze shut. She wants to shut me out, but that’s not happening again. Ever.

“I do mean it, and I’ll prove it to you.” I take her hand and tug her down the hall to her apartment door. “Open it.” I’m not having this conversation in a fucking hallway. I need privacy for what I have in mind.

Shae relents, and we step inside. She sets down her purse and takes off her jacket, avoiding my stare while I focus every ounce of unrelenting attention on her every movement.

“First, tell me what this is all about.”

Her shoulders rise and fall on a long, even breath as she stands in the entry with her back to me. “It was my fault. I leaked the information that led to the robbery and us getting captured.”

“Then I owe you a debt of gratitude,” I tell her in an even tone.

Bemused, she looks over her shoulder, brows pinched and lips softly parted. “What?”

“If we hadn’t been taken, if that plane hadn’t crashed, we’d have never had those three weeks together. And those were the best three weeks of my goddamn life.” I slowly circle her, loving how her body naturally follows mine.

“How can you possibly say that? We almost died.”

“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant making you mine.”

“You can’t—” Her hand goes to her chest as if she’s in pain, her eyes drifting shut. “You can’t say things like that.”

I take her face in my hands again and wait until her eyes meet mine. “I can say it if I mean it. And I mean every fucking word. You’re mine, Shae Byrne, and I’m yours. We’re a team. And I’m not going one more day without you by my side because you’re already in my heart. My fucking soul. These weeks apart made it clear to me that you are the only thing that truly matters—without you, the rest is meaningless. That’s why I’ve made arrangements for my uncle Gino to take over the family.”

“What?” she gasps, shaking her head in my hands. “No, Ren. You can’t. Not for me.”

A prideful energy vibrates through me like a full-body purr. “Say it again,” I rasp.

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