Page 50 of Craving Chaos

Once we’re both under the covers, the awkwardness intensifies. It’s strange to have been intimate with someone and then return to platonic bedmates. Am I supposed to forget that my fingers have been inside her? That I know how she tastes when she comes?

Her body curves into mine like the two were made for one another, yet the invisible barriers between us keep her beyond my reach. I don’t understand it, but I don’t want to force the issue. I want her to come to me willingly. To give me her body and her secrets.

Seeing progress helps me be patient. And so long as we’re out here in the wilderness, she can only run so far.

The next day starts like any other. She’s holding fast to her stance that nothing has changed between us. I didn’t necessarily think she would have changed her mind overnight, but a part of me had hoped she’d at least show signs of softening to the idea.

When I notice her scratching at her scalp come afternoon, I recognize an opportunity. “Let me grab some fresh water, and I’ll wash your hair. It’s been nearly a week since the last time.” She couldn’t hide how much she enjoyed my hands in her hair. It’s a perfect excuse to touch her and hopefully remind her how good I can make her feel. Anything to wear down her resistance.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll just dunk my head down at the creek. No reason to haul the water all the way up here for that.” The way she says it, you’d think I offered to help with a chore rather than suggest an intimate act shared between two people. Like she’s doing me a favor by handling it herself.

“If I minded hauling the water, I wouldn’t have offered.” I can’t keep the irritation from my voice.

“I get it. Some time outside sounds nice, though. The creek is gorgeous. I don’t spend enough time down there.” She’s smiling and keeping her tone light, but she’s too intuitive not to grasp the deeper meaning of my offer and her rejection.

Come on, Donati. Patience isn’t your finest virtue, but it’s only been a day. Calm the fuck down.

Someone as headstrong as Shae probably struggles to accept an unexpected curve in the road like sleeping with a rival. She’s more apt to drive straight through the trees in pursuit of her original objective than to pivot.

She needs time to adjust. I can give her that. For now.

Three days. Three fucking days and not the slightest indication that Shae is even a little bit tempted to open up to me. I’m starting to think I know what it feels like to be gaslit. If I were to ask how she can pretend we never did anything, I wouldn’t be surprised if she cocked her head in confusion and asked me what on earth I was talking about.

Only it did happen. And I’d put my whole goddamn fortune on a bet that she’s just as affected by it as I am despite her impressive show to the contrary.

“Can you believe we’ve been gone for two weeks?” She sounds so forlorn as she sits looking out the cabin window. Snow has kept us inside most of the day.

I understand the frustration of cabin fever. I also understand missing home. Therefore, I should empathize with her statement, but I’m incensed instead. She can’t get out of here fast enough. Get away from me fast enough. Instead of hoping for a rescue, I see the dwindling cans of food as a fucked up advent calendar counting down our days together. Once we’re back in the city, I have a feeling she’ll slip through my fingers like glitter in the wind.

I have to do something. Find a way to get through to her.

Giving her space hasn’t done jack shit. Maybe it’s time to change tactics.

I rise from the bed and cross the room. Once I’m next to her, she drags her gaze from the window and peers up at me. A flash of surprise widens her eyes a fraction when she sees the intensity in mine.

“You know what I can’t believe? I can’t believe I’ve yet to feel that sharp tongue of yours licking my cock.” My thumb drags across her lower lip.

I’m not sure what led me to this route except instinct. If the only way she’ll submit is when I force the issue, then I suppose she leaves me no choice. She’s proven repeatedly now that it’s the only way to get through to her. When it comes down to it, I don’t care about the method of transportation, so long as I get where I want to go.

“Why’s that so hard to believe?” Her voice is husky, reinforcing my decision. And not only that. She’s proving to me that she likes her partner to take control. She wants her choices taken away.

“Because I know you want to. I’ve seen the way your eyes drift my way when you lick the food off your fingers. And because there’s no reason not to—not when we’re out here alone with no guarantee of survival.”

“I like to be optimistic and think we’ll be home soon.”

“I’m all for optimism. That’s why I’ve tried to be patient, but I’m done waiting. Now …” I curl my fingers in her hair gently but firmly and angle her head back. “Get on your knees and suck my cock like a good girl.”

CHAPTER 26

SHAE

I prayed he wouldn’t do this. Not because he’s forcing me to do something I don’t want to. It’s the opposite. My resolve to keep our relationship platonic has been hanging by a thread. I knew I could never withstand the temptation if he pushed the issue. His ability to take control is too alluring. Too thorough.

A commanding energy seethes inside him beneath the surface. He doesn’t wield it unnecessarily, but when he does choose to exercise his dominance, his confidence is absolute.

The mark of a true alpha.

My knees crash to the floor. I have to swallow to draw moisture back into my mouth. No question where it’s all gone. My panties are suddenly soaked.

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