Page 90 of Craving Chaos

“Exactly.” I start to stand from my desk chair when Gino raises a hand in a silent request to give him a moment.

“I think all of that sounds good, Renzo, but I’m concerned about your plan to send Sante off to Italy. He’s already been through so much. We may be trying to help, but to him, it might look like yet another family member abandoning him.”

I sink back into my chair, the weight of my worries making the mechanism groan. “I get it, Gino, I do. But I can’t let him continue down the path he’s headed. Between the booze and reckless behavior, it’s like the kid’s got a death wish.”

He releases a weary breath. “I suppose you’re right. He’s my nephew, same as you, and I don’t want to hurt him. Hopefully, time with the Donati cousins will give him a new perspective.”

My lips thin, knowing where this is headed. “He’s not staying with the Donatis. When I called to make the arrangements, Dad’s cousin Francesco told me he’d recently been diagnosed with a brain tumor and is undergoing surgery soon. He can’t take on a project like Sante right now. And I’m not familiar enough with any other individuals on that side of the family to ask for this sort of favor.”

“So where’s he going?” My uncle’s tone is grim. He already knows the answer to his question.

“Lazaro Malgeri.” My mother’s cousin … in Sicily.

“Jesus, Renzo. The Sicilians are ruthless. They’re a whole other breed.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I bark back at him. “What other fucking option do I have? The kid is going to get himself killed here. And there’s no point in arguing about it. I put him on a plane this morning. He either learns to swim or he drowns.”

Gino glowers, but before he can say anything, Tommaso whirls into the room. His normally impassive eyes are spitting fire, his lip curved in a snarl.

“I begged you not to send him away. You told me this would be best for him, but I heard you just now. Drowning? That doesn’t sound like what’s best. You lied.”

“It’s not a lie.” I’m back on my feet. “This is what’s best for him. You want him to be tortured to death by the Russians? Because that’s what would have happened if I hadn’t stepped in. This is the only way I know to try to save him.”

“And what about me?” He spreads his arms wide. “Having Sante here was the first time I felt like I had a friend. Someone who accepted me for who I am, and you stole that from me.”

I can’t win no matter what I do.

“Fuck, Tommy,” I say on an exasperated breath. “I don’t know what to tell you except that if you feel so hell-bent on staying together, go with him.”

“You want me to go?” he asks in a hollow voice.

“No, I want you not to be pissed at me. Look, we can discuss this later, okay? We can figure out times you can visit or something, but for right now, I have somewhere to be.” I have another thirty minutes before I technically need to leave, but I have to get away from this conversation.

I love running this family in so many ways. It’s challenging and different every single day—I’m never bored. But dealing with bickering and personal problems, I could do without. I’m running a business, not a daycare. I know that’s all part of the leadership gig, and it’s not a problem most of the time, but it’s more than I want to deal with today. Fortunately, I’m headed to see the one person I can count on to brighten my day rather than darken it.

Shae

“Remind me what we’re doing here?” Renzo peers up at the brownstone home where I told him to meet me while I punch in the code on the lock box to get access.

“I was talking with my real estate agent while we were doing paperwork for the contract on my apartment. I told her how we’d spent some time in Canada and how we’d both enjoyed certain aspects of a … cozier mountain-style home. She got excited and showed me pictures of this new listing she had, and I got a great vibe from it, so I asked if I could bring you over. She’d normally come with, but I really wanted to look at it with you alone.” I gnaw on my bottom lip, my eyes doing a quick sweep of the entry. “I know we hadn’t even talked about buying a place, but it spoke to me. It just felt like … us.”

“I like what I see. Let’s look at the rest.”

We do a sweep of the main level, pausing in the front living room. I watch Renzo almost as much as I take in the space. The historic brownstone is a single-family home on a quiet street with mature trees lining the sidewalk. The previous owners did a phenomenal job honoring the home’s history while modernizing with wide-plank wood floors and contemporary design elements incorporating a wealth of natural materials.

“I love the look and feel, but this is my absolute favorite part.” I lean my arm on the reclaimed wood beam that serves as a fireplace mantel. “Ten wood-burning fireplaces. All of them functional. How cool is that?” I ask excitedly, curious if Renzo will feel the same draw to the place as I do.

He slowly strolls over, his eyes locked on the iron grate staged with fresh wood. “It’s incredibly cool,” he finally says, amusement creasing the corners of his eyes.

“I know it’s not a fancy high-rise—”

Renzo cups my face in his hands, smiling warmly. “Shae, it’s perfect.”

“Really?” Giddy anticipation raises my voice an octave. “We can go upstairs and see the rest. There’s two more floors and even a fully finished basement with a gym.”

“I’d like to look around, but I think I’m already sold. You’re right. It does feel like us. Like home.”

I’m so excited that I launch myself at him, hugging him with my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “I’m so glad you feel it too because I sort of already made an offer.” I pull back and give him a crooked smile. “I’d say I’m sorry, but that would be a lie.”

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