Page 48 of Craving Chaos

Now comes the tricky part.

We’ve crossed that line and have to figure out what it means going forward.

“This doesn’t have to change anything,” I say quietly. It’s my one last-ditch effort to protect myself from the inevitable crash landing I see coming my way because I’m not simply falling for the man. I dove in headfirst.

Renzo leans over and gently sweeps a strand of hair off my forehead. “You’re right. Nothing has to change if we don’t want it to.” His touch and words seem like they’re supposed to be reassuring, but his stare is so frigid it burns. A stab of pain lances through the center of my heart.

And so it begins.

CHAPTER 25

RENZO

Just this once. Nothing has to change.

How the fuck am I supposed to act like nothing’s changed when my entire world has been turned inside out? Some events are too monumental not to leave an indelible mark on your soul.

When a hurricane decimates a coastal town, the buildings may be rebuilt, but that community will never be the same. Having Shae Byrne—the most independent, headstrong woman I’ve ever met—give herself to me and submit to my command was like no other high on earth. I can’t simply forget it ever happened. I’ll crave that feeling for the rest of my goddamn life.

The fact that she’s still resisting makes me want to kill someone.

Why? Why won’t she give in? Our families complicate things, but they aren’t here. And even if they were, I’m the fucking boss of my family. I’ll do what I damn well please. So what if she’s not Italian. It’s not the 1970s anymore, and we aren’t dogs needing to be AKC registered.

What matters is loyalty and character. Not bloodlines.

And even if someone disagrees, there’s always the alliance exception. My father had no qualms marrying off his niece to Shae’s cousin in the name of an alliance. Why should my role as boss preclude me from a similar relationship? If I say it’s not a problem, then it’s not a fucking problem.

She wants to refuse to accept me?

Well, I refuse to accept her refusal.

I can’t go back home and pretend I’m okay with her sharing that side of herself with anyone else. I’ll go fucking insane. That untamed spirit of hers is mine. I know it. Her body knows it. I have to find a way to convince her mind.

I need to know what’s holding her back so I can bury that reason six feet under.

Is it her independence she’s worried about? The opinions of her family? My family? Whatever the source, I have to convince her I’m not a threat. That being with me is worth the risk.

I spend the rest of the afternoon thinking over my options. After we’ve eaten and the last of twilight’s glow has faded from our small window, I decide to do some digging. If I can get her talking, maybe I can get to the root of the problem.

“Tell me more about your family.” It’s such an obvious question. I’m suddenly kicking myself for not pushing to know more about her sooner.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. I guess you can start with your role in the business. What do you do most days?”

“I oversee security at Bastion, so I usually work at night.”

“That’s one of your social clubs?”

“We only have the one social club, though I suppose some people might call Moxy a social club.” Her lips twist into a wry smirk.

“I’m sure there’s enough regulars at a strip club to justify the moniker.”

She raises her cup of water in agreement. “I would imagine you’re right, though I don’t spend much time over there, so I wouldn’t know the particulars.”

“Conner works at Bastion as well, right?” I helped gather information on Conner for Dad when he was deciding whether to approve my cousin’s marriage to him. It’s my understanding the social club is a front for a high-roller gambling setup. All pretty uppity—no losers using rent money to bet on ponies or anything like that.

“Yeah, he runs the club. Because we work together at Bastion, I tend to help him with other things.”

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