Page 92 of For Fox Sake

I grimace. “Not my finest hour.”

I don’t even remember it. The things I put Finley through. I’m lucky she didn’t kick my ass or kick me out of our house completely. She would have been well within her rights. I would have deserved it.

Archer comes to an abrupt halt, spinning around to face me. “Hey. You’ve been through hell, and you came through like a fucking champion.” He puts a hand on my shoulder. “I am proud of you.”

I swallow back a lump forming in my throat. Damn, I’m emotional today. Lack of sleep.

“Thanks, man. Having you and Finley in my corner, it changed my life.”

He slaps me on the back a couple of times and then turns around and keeps walking.

We pick up speed to catch up with the slower-moving group.

After a few minutes of walking, I tell him, “You were right, you know.”

“About what?”

“What you said in the hospital when you and Finely first got together.”

He turns his head to talk over his shoulder. “What words of wisdom did I impart to you? I honestly don’t remember.”

“You said grief is the price we pay for love and given the choice between grief and nothing, you’d choose grief every time.”

“Huh. I sure am smart.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, smart-ass. But... it’s why I might have to move.”

He stops again, turning and facing me. “You’ll move there?”

“If she won’t move here. I’ve been looking at real estate nearby. If I’m going to convince her to move in with me, I want to have some kind of plan. A place of our own. I’m going to head out to visit this weekend instead of in two weeks like we planned.” I also want to bring Shirley back to Ari. I found the toy the day after they left. The rabbit was tucked up in between the wall and the mattress of the bottom bunk bed. “I want to surprise her and Ari and try to convince her to move. If that doesn’t work...” I shrug. I have to do it. I would move mountains for my girls.

He twists his lips. “I don’t like it, but I get it.”

“She’s worth it.”

“I’m glad. And you know Finley will just commandeer Oliver’s jet every other day if she wants to see you. But for what it’s worth, I’m really hoping you can convince her to come here.”

“Me too.”

* * *

I practice various speeches the entire flight into Portland. I make a whole list of reasons New York is better than Oregon. I search for quotes about journeys and new beginnings and... love.

I haven’t told Ryan I love her, but I do. I love her and Ari. I need to tell her. Them. Will it be enough?

What if she doesn’t want to move to New York and also doesn’t want me to move to Dull?

I know she cares about me but... what if she’s changed her mind?

By the time I get off the plane and into the rental car, I’m nearly bursting with anticipation and anxiety.

I texted Ryan this morning to find out what their schedule would be like today so I could show up when they got home from all their activities and obligations. It works out, because even leaving New York in the morning, because of the time change, I don’t arrive until midafternoon, then I have to drive two hours to Dull.

By the time I get there, it’s near dinner time.

Ari is in front of their house, drawing on the sidewalk.

She looks up when I pass by, and when she spots me behind the wheel, she drops her chalk and jumps to her feet waving and yelling.

---