Page 87 of For Fox Sake

My heart thumps harder in my chest, my stomach twisting. I’m scared. What am I so scared of? Leaving Dull? I don’t like living there. I only stayed because of Mom. So, what’s left for me now? Just Bernie, really.

Change is scary.

Jake is scary. No, it’s not Jake, it’s my feelings for Jake that are terrifying.

He clicks the blinker to make a left-hand turn. “I like you. A lot.”

I stare at his profile. “I like you too.”

The light turns green. His ears turn pink. “I don’t want to pressure you, but I want to be in your life, yours and Ari’s life.”

I want the same thing, but... “We live on opposite sides of the country.”

“I could move,” he answers quickly.

“And leave your whole family? Your whole life here?”

He bites his lip. “You could move.”

The fear whispers in my ear: What if he changes his mind? Shane did. Does he really mean it? Maybe he does, now, but what if he regrets it later? “I don’t know.”

His finger taps on the steering wheel. “I’m not ready to say goodbye forever.”

We’re leaving early tomorrow morning. “I’m not either.”

He shoots me a surprised glance. “Really?”

“Really. Maybe we can come back sometime soon. Or you can come visit.”

“When?”

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe in a few days?”

A laugh bubbles out of me. “Maybe slightly longer than that.”

It’s not only about trusting him with my heart, but Ari’s too.

If I did uproot our lives and move across the country, and then Jake and I didn’t work out? It would break both our hearts.

We arrive back at the camp, and time picks up like a snowball gathering speed down a steep mountain.

Before I know it, we’ve eaten our last dinner with Jake’s family and said our goodbyes.

Finley hugs me tight. “Don’t be a stranger.”

I can’t make any promises.

Jake comes back with us to the cabin to read Ari her bedtime story.

I stand outside the bedroom door, out of sight, while Jake inflects silly voices, ad-libs lines, and makes Ari giggle.

Is there anything more attractive than a man who loves my daughter? Who makes her laugh, puts her needs first, shows care and concern, and gives her genuine affection?

My heart aches, part tenderness, part loss.

“Hey.” His eyes search my face.

---