Page 15 of Somewhere Between Falling

He drove us to a nearby lake. It was quiet and private; only the moon and stars were there to witness our presence.

“Favorite vacation?” he asked as he dug his spoon into the pint of pistachio.

“Um, I guess New Orleans,” I answered. “I like the food, the atmosphere, and how it seems like its own world down there. What about you?”

“Probably Scotland.”

“I’m jealous. I’m dying to go to Europe. Especially Greece—I’d love to see Greece. I’ve never been out of the country before,” I said wistfully. “But I have my passport, just waiting for the opportunity.”

“What’s stopping you?” he asked, tilting his head.

“Honestly? Fear, I guess. I’ve never traveled anywhere alone,” I admitted.

“Haven’t you ever heard that you are supposed to do the things that scare you?” he asked.

“You know, I never really got the quote. I mean, what about self-preservation? Sometimes we are scared of stuff for good reasons.”

“Yeah, but traveling is good for the soul. It’s the best way to really learn what kind of person you are.”

“Well, I feel like I know the kind of person I am already: a scaredy cat, rule follower.”

“I think there’s more to you than that.”

I was thankful that the cover of darkness kept him from seeing the blush that had crept across my cheeks. I didn’t know how to respond to his statement.I really wasn’t sure what he meant by that, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure if it was true. So much of my life had been decided for me, it was hard to know the difference between what I wanted and what I was told I needed.There was a summer-abroad program I really wanted to sign up for, but it was a London History and Literature program that I knew my mom would never approve of. Besides, she already had an internship lined up at a local law firm for me this summer. My mom had a very clear vision of what my future should look like and, even though I wasn’t so sure I agreed, what could I do about it?

“It’s peaceful out here,” I said, deciding to change the subject.

“You should see it during the day, especially when the weather starts to warm up and the fields of goldenrods are in full bloom. It’s just yellow as far as the eye can see.”

“Yellow is my favorite color,” I commented.

“I’ll have to bring you back here then.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea …” It was one thing to be with him under the cover of darkness where nobody could see us, but I didn’t want to deal with the potential problems that we’d face if anyone from Parkhurst found out.

“Why?”

“I told you why,” I answered softly.

“And I told you, I’m not really your teacher,” he said, lifting his chin.

“Still. I don’t want to be the topic of campus gossip.”

“You really think anybody actually cares that much?”

“I do. I’ve seen it happen,” I said quietly.

He furrowed his brow in confusion, and I decided it was time to explain myself.

“I guess I’ll start with the phone call earlier,” I started. “That was my dad’s new wife inviting me to her … baby shower.”

He started to smile and looked like he was going to offer me some sort of congratulations, but when he saw the expression on my face, he immediately seemed to understand without me having to elaborate and stopped himself.

I continued, “Yeah, but there’s more to it than just the fact that my father is starting a new chapter in his life. You see, Blair was a graduate assistant when they met. She was in a different department, but still, she was technically a student and …”

“And?” he pressed.

“And he was technically still married to my mom when it happened.”

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