Page 3 of The Renegade Mate

My heart hammered in my chest, my hand going to Ryan’s.

“You’ve got to be joking?” I’d only just come back to the Pack. I’d run four years ago, when things got too much. I’d known for years that Ryan was my fated mate, and yet I’d watched him parade around with a collection of girls from the Pack. I’d thought I was okay about it. I was too young, and as my older brother’s best friend, Ryan was off-limits until I was of age. But then, at a Regional Pack Meet, Sarah Conley had been all over him, and I’d lost it. I’d marched over to them, dragged Sarah off Ryan, and then declared to the whole fucking Meet that Ryan was my mate.

Ryan and Jem had been appalled. I hadn’t realized how delicate our positions were in the Pack. Oliver had been the Alpha then, Jem the Pack Beta. Everyone knew that Jem wanted the top job and that Oliver was searching for ways to weaken Jem. By declaring myself Ryan’s mate, I put a huge target on my back—I was the perfect person to take out. It would disable both Jem and his best friend and enforcer, Ryan. Jem and Ryan knew this and had done the only thing they could—Ryan rejected me in front of everyone, claimed I was a delusional little girl with a crush, and Jem had ordered me home.

I’d been so humiliated, so shocked that Ryan, my mate, could deny it that I couldn’t breathe. Overwhelmed and heartbroken, I’d run. I left Three Rivers, spent four years dodging any mention of the place. Ended up in Cocrane, where I built up a freelancing website design business. Then Seth had started to take notice of me. He showered me with attention, made me feel like I actually was someone who could be loved, someone who deserved to be loved. It was great, until it wasn’t.

It had taken me a while to realize just how controlling Seth was. How quick to anger he was when I didn’t do something he wanted. Then, during one argument, he hit me. Broke my arm and two ribs and twisted my knee so badly I had to use crutches. That was it. So I’d run again. Heading back to the only place I knew I would be safe.

I’d just wanted to lie low for a few days. Heal my injuries, make a new plan. But Ryan had found me hiding out in my old apartment in Three Rivers. He told me the truth about why he rejected me and then spent every waking moment trying to convince me to give us a go. Given all that, it was no surprise that I had trust issues. I was just starting to get past that with Ryan, but Jem couldn’t possibly have meant for me to take over the whole fucking Pack.

Mason nodded in agreement. “Jem was planning this for a long time. We’ve been searching for you, Mai. He thought we were close. He was sure that when you came back, you and Ryan would seal your mate bond.”

“He can’t have known that!” Hell, I’d only known for a few days that I could forgive Ryan and that I wanted to be with him.

Derek walked toward me. “Of course he could. He knew you. He knew how much you loved Ryan and how pig-headedly stubborn Ryan is. He knew Ryan would do anything to win you back. Jem saw it years ago; you two are destined for each other.”

“But he didn’t know he was going to die. Why would he want to leave the Pack?” I asked. “He loves …” I gulped down my sorrow, “loved this Pack.”

“He knew his relationship with Hayley was destabilizing the Pack,” Derek replied. “He thought if you and Ryan took over, the Pack would thrive again. He wanted to take Hayley away, spend time with just her, work out how to make her happy.”

I felt a rush of emotions—shock, fear, and an overwhelming sense of responsibility.

I shook my head and glared at Derek, willing him to take back his words. “No. You’re wrong. We’re not meant to be the Alpha pair. That is never gonna happen.”

Chapter two

Mai

The loud chatter of the crowd faded into a stunned silence as Ryan’s words echoed across the packed room. “Mai, you’re a fucking kid. We’re not mates. We’ll never be mates. You don’t understand how this works. You will, one day when you grow up, but this is just some little girl’s fantasy that’s got out of hand.”

His blue eyes were cold, cutting into me like shards of ice. Shock and humiliation washed over me in crushing waves. This couldn’t be happening, not after I had put my heart on the line and finally told Ryan that he was my mate.

My cheeks burned as hushed whispers broke out among the crowd. I took a small step back. Laughter pierced the air as those in the crowd reacted to my public rejection with cruel delight. I could hear Brock’s roaring laughter.

I turned to run but slammed straight into a solid, comforting frame—Jem. I wanted him to put his arms around me, to tell me that everything was going to be okay. Instead, he stared at me with such profound sorrow and disappointment that it stole my breath.

“Why, Mai?” he whispered, voice breaking. “Why did you have to ruin everything?”

Before I could reply, his face twisted in agony. He clutched at his chest as vivid red blood began to drip from his eyes, his ears, his mouth. I cried out, reaching for him, but my hands passed right through his body like smoke.

I startled awake in the pitch-black room, a cold sweat trickling down my spine. The memory of the nightmare clung to me, the heartache of Ryan’s rejection, the horror of Jem’s face, twisted in a grimace of pain, imprinted in my mind. I swallowed hard, trying to drive the images away.

The room was silent apart from the sound of Ryan’s breath, steady and rhythmic beside me, and the low hum of the air con unit. As if drawn by an invisible force, I found myself leaning into him, craving the comfort of his heat. His scent wrapped around me, grounding me in the moment.

Ryan’s arms tightened around me, his face relaxed and so beautiful in sleep. I lay there, cradled in his arms, thinking about how far I’d come. The memory of his rejection still ached, but being here with Ryan, maybe I was finally healing. He helped chase away the demons, his love soothing my battered soul. Curled against him right now, I felt safe, cherished even—feelings I thought were lost forever after he rejected me.

Jem’s face from my nightmare intruded into my thoughts. Would the pain of losing him lessen in time? It seemed impossible right now that this all-consuming grief would change into something more bearable. Right now, there was only room for the sorrow and thoughts of revenge that wrestled within me, leaving me no room for sleep.

Ryan stirred beside me; his fingers traced an absent pattern on my arm. “Can’t sleep?” he whispered, his voice rough.

A choked laugh escaped me, a pitiful sound that seemed to echo through the quiet room. “You could say that.”

Ryan’s arm tightened around me, pulling me closer to him. “Want to talk about it?”

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” I said. “Hayley … I trusted her, Ryan. We all did.”

“I know,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “I feel it too, Mai. The anger, the disbelief … it’s like a nightmare that we can’t wake up from.”

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