Page 98 of Unleashing Chaos

“Not a clue.”

He chuckles and tightens his arms around me. “That’s okay, Desideria.” He squeezes me one more time and we pull back just far enough so we can see each other’s faces. “What are you thinking?”

“That all I want to do for the next three days is to be in your arms. That’s it. Can we do that?”

“I’m all yours. Whatever you need, I’ll take care of it. I just want us to make the most of the time we have left together.”

I want that too. Even though I know it won’t be enough, and it will rip my heart in two when I have to say goodbye. I want to spend the next three days lost in Jace Wilder, willingly handing him my breaking heart one tiny piece at a time.

Thirty

DESI

The ride from the airport to the house is silent. Neither Jace nor I slept much last night. He held me as I sobbed and worried about my father’s health and urged me to share some of my favorite memories of growing up in Infernis. I finally fell asleep for a couple of hours, and when I woke up his arms were still around me. Jace hasn’t let go of my hand since we stepped out of the hotel room. He’s been attentive, kind, showering me with hugs and kisses, doing his best to soften the blow of my father’s news.

I know that it’s only going to make what happens in three days even harder.

When the Uber pulls up in front of the house, Jace jumps out and runs around to open the door for me, extending his hand to help me out of the SUV. I take it and we each roll a suitcase inside. He stops me before I open the front door.

“Wait. What are you going to tell Cannon?”

My eyes snap to his. “What do you mean?”

“Are you going to—I mean—”

“Am I going to tell him that I definitely need him to come back with me in three days?” I ask, my heart sinking a little lower in my chest.

His nod is almost imperceptible, and he can’t meet my eyes. I wish I fully understood. If he cares this much, if the idea of me leaving is so hard for him to imagine, why can’t he just take the risk and go with me?

But I think I know the answer to that question. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe Jace really isn’t capable of love at this point in his life. And if he doesn’t love me—isn’t in love with me—he could never take such a giant step. And to be honest, I know that it doesn’t matter if I get it or not.

Jace is doing the best he can. That much I know is true.

“I think so,” I say in a small voice. It isn’t really what I want, but it’s the next best thing. “And I think it’s a conversation I need to have alone with him. Just in case it gets uncomfortable. Is that okay?”

He squeezes my hand. “Of course. I’ll just take our bags upstairs. Come to my room when you’re done?”

Leaning into him, I kiss the scruff on his jaw. “You couldn’t pay me to be anywhere else,” I say, opening the door. I take off my boots, pushing them under the bench in the foyer. My eyes linger on all my shoes lined up next to Jace’s; it’s such a silly thing, but I’ll miss that sight when I go home.

“Cannon, are you here?” Jace calls, walking into the living room.

The man in question turns and smiles at us from his place on the couch. A bag of chips and two soda cans litter the coffee table. I don’t miss the tick in Jace’s jaw when he eyes what he considers a mess, but he doesn’t say a word. I can see he doesn’t have the energy.

Pausing the game on the flatscreen, Cannon stands and gathers his trash. “Sorry, man. I thought you two were coming back tomorrow.”

“Change of plans,” Jace grumbles, opening the cupboard housing the trash can.

I cross the room to our well-meaning roommate, the one whose world is about to be turned upside down by me and my chaotic mess of a life. “I got it,” I say, giving Cannon a quick hug before taking the trash from his hands. “How are you?”

He smiles and thanks me before taking a seat at the island. “Fine, just holding down the fort. How was your trip?”

I force a smile and say, “New York City is magnificent. I got to see the Statue of Liberty, and Jace got Edmonds signed. It was a success.”

“I’m glad you had a good time. Why did you come home early? You needed more than one day to see everything.”

I open my mouth to tell Cannon everything from the beginning, but a gigantic lump rises in my throat, thwarting my ability to speak. I close my eyes and grip the edge of the counter, leaning forward and staring at the pristine tile floor.

Jace is right behind me in an instant. I didn’t even realize he hadn’t gone upstairs yet. He slides one arm around my waist and places the other around me, palm on the counter, caging me in. “Are you all right, princess?”

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