Page 110 of Unleashing Chaos

“I won’t give up,” is all I say, though, because it’s time to go. I have to let this man go, let him live his life. I’ve already disrupted it enough, and even though he says it’s been one of the best things that’s ever happened to him, he deserves to move on. He has exciting, career-altering changes waiting for him, and I’m just the demon princess who crash-landed on his front porch.

“I’ll never forget you. Ever,” I whisper, pulling him forward until his forehead rests against mine.

He cups my face in his palms, softly kisses me, and says, “Goodbye, my little hurricane.”

What’s left of my heart shatters at his feet. “Goodbye, Jace Wilder.”

And when I get into the backseat, I have no regard for the oblivious driver when I burst into tears.

Thirty-four

JACE

It’s been nine hours, fifty-two minutes, and seventeen seconds since Desi climbed into the backseat of that car and drove away from me for the last time.

Since then I’ve eaten five bowls of peanut butter puff cereal, felt like I was going to vomit, watched two Star Wars movies, and I swear I teared up when R2-D2 slid on screen because she wasn’t there to do her “beep-beep-boops.” I tried to work on a project for a client but gave up when I realized it was terrible, and took a shower so long that the water ran cold. Nothing I do relieves the ache in my chest or makes me feel a semblance of happiness.

I am absolutely 300 percent miserable without her. The house is so quiet, so boring without her laughter bouncing off the walls. All I want is her right here next to me so I can reach over and touch her, brush my fingertips over her skin, surprise her with kisses . . . but she’s so far away from me now and I’ll never see her again.

It’s so fucking depressing.

The only consolation I have is that Cannon will be with her, but even that is a stab to my gut. I’m so jealous of him I could punch something. But at the same time, I know it’s for the best. I rub my temples and my attention turns to the door as I hear the knob rattle and Cannon walk through the foyer, kicking off his shoes.

I don’t even bother to care that they’re in the middle of the floor. I don’t have the energy.

“Jace? You here?”

“Yeah, man, I’m in the living room,” I call.

Cannon walks toward the couch and stops short when his eyes land on me. “You look like shit.”

“That’s exactly the look I was going for today—hammered shit with a side of what the fuck. I’m glad I pulled it off.” I can’t even bother to add inflection to my sarcastic tone because that takes too much energy.

He drops down on the opposite side of the couch and turns to me, leaning against the arm. “Desi left already, huh?” he says.

“Yeah, about nine this morning,” I say, leaning my head back against the couch and staring at the ceiling.

Cannon sighs and props his elbows on his knees. “Are you okay, Jace? I know how much she means to you.”

“It was just hard to say goodbye, but in my gut I know it’s for the best. I mean look at you.” I eye his tailored gray suit and thin black tie. He looks like he just stepped off a GQ cover ready to meet his future queen and spend the rest of his life with her. Everything about him is perfect. Hell, if I were into guys, he’d be perfect for me too. “You’re the type of guy who was made for the kind of life Desi lives.”

Cannon loosens his tie and sits back against the arm of the couch. “She doesn’t feel the same way about me as she does about you, though. I know you know that.”

“It doesn’t matter what she feels for me. I can’t give her what she needs; you can. She shouldn’t have to wait patiently as I overcome my issues. It could take all eternity for that to happen.”

It doesn’t matter what I feel for her either. Because we both knew from the beginning that this was never going to last longer than ninety days.

Cannon shakes his head and gets to his feet. “Your issues must be pretty major, dude. For you to give up a woman like Desi—” He blows out a breath that rattles his lips. He paces the room, removing his tie and unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt. His skin is flushed and his movements twitchy; he’s clearly anxious about this conversation. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. That was rude; I just consider you a friend, Jace, and I hate to see you miserable like this, and to know I’m leaving you in this state to take what I know should be yours. It makes me feel bad.”

“It shouldn’t. I made my choices, and I chose the route with the least risk.”

Cannon flops back down on the couch, the frame groaning from the impact. “I need you to understand that what I feel for Desi is nothing but friendship. She’s in a hard place and I hate to think she’ll spend the rest of her life miserable with someone she didn’t choose. I care about her, but I care about you too, man.”

I tilt my head up to the ceiling and run my palm down my face. What do I say to that? Thanks for settling for the woman I wish I could get my shit together for? I won’t take my feelings out on him. Cannon’s been a good friend to me and Desi. He’s giving up everything for her simply because she’s his friend. Desi offered me the same chance in a thousand ways without saying it, and I declined because I’m a coward.

I take a deep breath and face Cannon again. “Promise me you’ll take care of her. Draw her a bath on days when she’s stressed and watch sappy rom-coms with her once in a while. Remember her favorite dinner is fettuccine alfredo and she likes red wine over white. Oh, and never put her jeans in the dryer. She likes to hang them.”

Cannon laughs and says, “Why?”

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