The mood doesn’t change much at the kitchen island. We sit side by side, Cannon and I holding all the conversation while Jace focuses on eating. He finishes before us and rinses off his plate.
“Cannon, you got the dishes tonight?” he asks.
“Yeah, I got it.”
“Thanks for dinner,” I say in a quiet voice.
Jace gives a curt nod and heads to his office. “I’ll be finishing up a project for the rest of the night. You two sleep good.”
Several quiet minutes pass by after Jace disappears. The air is thick with tension. It’s so uncomfortable that Cannon and I scratch at our arms and necks, never making eye contact. Whatever is going on with Jace has the potential to change the dynamic in this house.
Nineteen
DESI
It’s after midnight when I ease the front door open and step into the foyer. I sit on the bench and set to work unbuckling the multiple straps wrapped around my ankles. The heels were a sexy choice but not practical for standing and dancing for hours. However, they went perfectly with my little black dress, and I don’t regret wearing them.
Not only was my date handsome, but he was smart and funny and very polite. Seth opened every door and thanked our server at the restaurant before we left for the concert. He even politely declined to give an autograph, letting his fan know he didn’t want to be rude to me. His taste in music was fantastic, and he didn’t shy away from singing along at the top of his lungs and shaking his hips. This date would lead to a second if it weren’t for one major factor.
I didn’t so much as feel a spark of passion toward him.
I’ll admit I wasn’t in the best frame of mind. It’s been three days of awkward exchanges with Jace. He hasn’t hung out or eaten a meal with me. Cannon has been away on a business trip, and I’ve attempted to consume every free moment Meredith has away from her husband and kids. It’s been miserable around here.
After lining my heels up with the other shoes, I stand. The house is dark, forcing me to feel my way to the stairs. When I reach the top, I turn to go down the hall to my room but stop. The tension in this house has gone on long enough. If I have to eat another meal alone or watch Jace rush past me to his office with a mumbled greeting, I’m going to scream.
I march in the direction of his room. When I see a sliver of light shining beneath his door, my heart speeds up. I should walk away, wait until I’m not so worked up. But this can’t wait. If I go back to my room I’m just going to toss and turn all night. But if I confront him tomorrow, I’ll be sleep deprived and angry. I can spare him a fraction of my wrath by handling this now.
I knock on the door but he doesn’t answer, so I take a chance and just walk in.
“Jace, can we talk?” I ask in a gentle tone, even though my voice is shaking with the effort of holding back my anger. I walk toward his bed and plant my hands on my hips.
Even as I stare down at him, he doesn’t answer me, doesn’t so much as flinch. My nostrils flare and my anger bubbles up inside me. I fear it won’t be held back much longer.
“Jace!” I yell with an odd mixture of sternness and apprehension.
It’s hard to both fuel my fury and keep my gaze from traveling down his naked chest. It’s like he already holds an advantage, and we haven’t touched on the root of the problem.
Finally, he lowers the book he’s reading. His smoky gaze drags up to my heated face. “I don’t know why you’re asking the question when you’ve already barged into my room, intent on doing just that. I can’t promise you I’m in the mood to talk, but you can say what you need to get off your chest.”
I start to roll my eyes but instead I just close them and take a deep breath. “Fine. I just want to know why you’ve ignored me since that night I gave you the lightsabers. We went from having a good time laughing and dueling to you giving me the silent treatment for days on end. What did I do wrong? Help me out here.”
Jace removes his glasses and sets them on his nightstand. He rubs his temples like just my presence is giving him a headache, but I know that’s not the case. He’s fuming because I’m confronting him, bringing the drama straight to his bedroom. But there would be no drama if he hadn’t started it.
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Desideria. I’ve just come to realize that I can’t help you. Dating isn’t my thing. I’m not good at it, and I don’t have anything to add to the discussion. That’s what you’re here to do, so I’m going to erase myself from an equation I don’t fit into.”
“You were fine helping me with it when you thought I was going to date Cannon,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest and refusing to back down. He’s not telling the whole story. There’s something else going on with him. “Why is it that when another man got involved, you lost it?”
“I know Cannon. He would treat you right, wouldn’t take advantage of what you’re offering him. The assholes on dating apps and pretty-boy baseball players don’t deserve to lay a hand on you when all they see is a beautiful face and a sexy body.”
I rear my head back and nod slowly. “Oh. I see. That makes sense. I suppose that’s why someone as intelligent and sophisticated as you couldn’t be with someone like me—nothing but a beautiful face and a sexy body.” He opens his mouth to respond, and I hold up a hand, running my tongue over my teeth. I’m on a roll now, my anger unleashed, and I won’t be interrupted. “No. I’m not finished. But I was good enough for you to put your hands all over, wasn’t I? Even though you had no intention of taking things any further. You fingered me on the floor of an art museum and never looked back. But those men are worse? Not good enough for me?” I scoff and shake my head.
Jace flies off the bed and stands on the other side facing me. “First, don’t come into my room spouting some bullshit about how I supposedly think you are just tits and ass! You deserve a man who’s intelligent and worships the ground you walk on. Not for one goddamn second did I believe you were worthy of anything less.” He stabs his finger into his chest and continues. “I’m the asshole. I don’t begrudge you the pleasure of pointing it out. What I did was a dick move. I placed you between my legs. I told you I wanted to touch you. I fucked you with my fingers. And I knew the entire time that it was wrong. I knew it, and I didn’t stop myself. So, yes, I think I’m a fantastic judge of character when it comes to the men you should stay away from.”
My face is blood red for about five different reasons, and I clench my jaw before I speak. “Come off it, Jace. Perhaps I should’ve known better, but you ignoring me for three days hasn’t really helped matters. I was merely repeating what you said—that a man would automatically only see a beautiful face and a sexy body. Is it such a leap that I thought for a second that maybe that’s all you saw too?” I move closer to where he stands and he takes a step back. “And don’t pretend that you don’t know that I wanted you to touch me. That you don’t know I’ve wanted you to touch me for weeks.” I keep walking toward him until I’m rounding his side of the bed and he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. “That I want you to touch me right now,” I whisper. “When are you going to get it, Wilder? I don’t want to stay away from you.”
He swallows and squares his shoulders, his stormy gaze blazing into mine. “I don’t want to touch you again.”
Those seven words are worse than a knife plunged into my heart and twisted. Tears sting my eyes and my chin trembles. “You’re a coward and a liar.”