Page 76 of Sizzle Reel

“We went to a karaoke lounge. Wyatt says he’s going on a third date with a new girl.”

Wyatt said nothing of the sort, but I need to kill that weed before it grows. They never say it, but Mom and Dad definitely want me to get back with Wyatt. He’s the only man I’ve brought home, he’s Jewish, and I think they’re convinced that I can catch, like, only one in a million humans. Gotta hold on to the one I did catch, amirite? Still, somehow, even though it’d be a less devastating blow to the idea that I exclusively like men, I can’t stand the thought that Mom and Dad might think this hickey came from Wyatt. Wyatt couldn’t even get close to making me feel as safe and satisfied as Valeria had the night before.

The host leads us to our table, and Mom takes the one sunny spot. She’s like a lizard in that way—always cold, even in Southern California. It’s like she has to steal every ray of sunlight to keep herself alive. I have no idea how she lived on the East Coast before.

Dad looks between Noam and me, a grin spreading across his face. For some reason, Noam’s growing facial hair. If a razor materialized at this table, I’d have no problem shaving his face right now. “I can’t tell which of you looks more tired right now. Youth is great, isn’t it?”

Dad is from Bakersfield—the son of the owners of the only Jewish deli in town. He’s self-made and is now a mathematician prominent enough to afford a house in this affluent area. He apparently joked his way through college and always claims humor is what leads to success in life. It should be so easy to think if I came out he’d just make a joke, be chill, but I can’t even imagine that with certainty.

Noam looks at me. Tilts his head a little. “Do you have a job yet, Lunes?”

Okay. That’s cool. Noam is definitely hiding something, and when I find out I’ll destroy him.

Mom and Dad turn my way, Mom with her steely-eyed warden glare and Dad with his puppy dog eyes.

“Yeah, what happened with that cinematographer you were working with on Valeria Sullivan’s film?” Mom asks.

I wince as Mom says Valeria’s name. The hickey, I swear to god, feels hotter at the mention. Hot enough to melt the makeup hiding it.

“I emailed him about taking me to his next gig, and he still hasn’t gotten back to me.”

“You should follow up with him,” Mom says. “Squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

I stare at the menu. My stomach is churning, and I feel queasy thinking about the grease and the salt that are on nearly every item on this menu. I pre-pick a waffle.

“I dunno,” I say. “I don’t want to be pushy.” I take a swig of water. The condensation on the glass feels heavenly against my fevered skin.

“Are you exploring other avenues too? Valeria Sullivan herself, for example?” Dad asks.

It’s not even funny, the way I choke on my water. I give several hearty coughs, and my mom springs forward as Noam giggles in the background. Yeah, there’s been plenty of exploring with Valeria Sullivan. The heat travels past my neck to my face.

“I, uh—” My voice cracks. I clear my throat. “She’s kinda busy, but she’s always a resource. She’s not doing any producing in the next year, but she’ll hit me up otherwise.”

“Jesus, she talks to you?” Noam says in shock.

I shoot Noam a glare. “Yeah, she talks to me. She’s my friend!” I made her come, like, three times last night, fucker.

“That sounds…precarious,” Mom says.

My heart twinges. “What do you mean?”

“Well, when will you know with this Brendan guy?” Dad asks. “I’d love it if he came through, but shouldn’t you be applying for other jobs if you don’t have a recommendation yet? Or ask Valeria for one too?”

I rub the back of my neck. “That’s a lot to ask of her.”

“Bullshit, hon,” Mom says. “You’re in an industry where you demand until you can’t. They’re definitely comfortable doing the same thing. Writing a recommendation is nothing for her.”

I pull my hand back, and my stomach drops. Makeup’s on my fingertips. When did I even touch the hickey?

“You’re not being strategic with this, Lune,” Mom continues. “You’re only in Valeria Sullivan’s scope for so long, and you need to make as many connections with these people as possible. You can’t rely on this Brendan guy.”

Her words dig into my chest. Is Mom right? Did I gamble too much on a prospect that will never come through? Asking for a recommendation would have been totally within my power before. But now that Valeria and I are involved romantically, there are all these other factors at play. Factors I can’t entirely control.

“I’ll—” I move to touch my neck and then quickly rub my arm instead. “I’ll ask Val about it today.”

The waitress comes by. Noam cocks his head at me as our parents order. I mouth, What?

He shakes his head and waits until the waitress is gone to say, “You call her Val?”

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