Page 12 of Sizzle Reel

She looks me up and down. “Lune, your prospects are fine.”

Romy goes silent, chewing on her lip. I finally make it to the front of the line and get called to order. I pick a bacon ranch burger. Romy orders popcorn and a Sprite before we circle back to my question.

“Do you have a girl in mind?” She chews on her inner lip after she says it.

Bi girls are just indecisive.

“I dunno. I don’t even think I’d know an attractive girl, like one I’d want to have sex with, if she were right in front of me.”

Romy bites back a laugh. “Do you know with guys when you’re attracted to them?”

“I think so.”

“Same concept. You have a type; people come along who break that type. For instance, I’m really into that artificial red hint on brunettes. It’s just an automatic reaction.”

I run a hand through my hair instinctually, my heart beating much harder than it needs to be. With her encouragement, I’ve been getting a red tint put into the usually nondescript light brown. She hasn’t complimented it out of the blue like this. “You’re fucking around, aren’t you?”

Romy squirts butter onto her popcorn. “You make it too easy.”

We walk into the theater. The movie is still playing in big theaters, but the crowd is sparse considering it’s eight something on a Thursday night.

“I just—what if I’m doing this attraction thing wrong?” I blurt.

Romy sets the popcorn down between us. “Dude, you can’t do this wrong. You’re a baby gay. Non-assholes will give you a break while you’re figuring everything out.”

I give her a look. “Aren’t baby gays like actual children?”

Romy slides her horn-rimmed glasses on. I think she’s supposed to wear them all the time for distance, but I’ve only ever seen them when we watch movies or plays or while she’s driving. It’s not her usual look, but she could make even an outdated hipster style look great. “Baby gays are people who’ve just come out. Can be any age.”

An attendant comes by with my burger. I adjust the bacon that’s threatening to fall out. My Jewish ancestors frown down on me. “But I just—how do I know if I’m actually attracted to women or just think I am?”

Romy stops the jokes and looks me in the eye, a line between her brows. “Did someone say something to you?”

I exhale. “Alice…She had this conversation with a client…”

Romy stiffens as I tell her what Alice said, as if my words were a physical blow. She puts a hand on mine. “Luna, I…” She exhales, her body slowly relaxing. “With attraction, you know how you just kinda knew with Wyatt?”

A knot starts forming in my stomach. “I guess.” Ranch is sliding from the burger onto my hands, and I don’t know if this is the universe telling me how far I’ve fallen or risen since Wyatt.

Full disclosure: Wyatt and I waited three weeks before fumbling our clothing off. Wyatt was a mediocre kisser, and I’d been out of my mind nervous that I was falling out of love/lust/whatever with him with each passing kiss. When we’d gotten past second base, Wyatt, despite describing numerous successful sexual encounters to me, couldn’t even get himself in the right region. I’d guided his fingers right to my clit, and he still couldn’t find it. And maybe this wasn’t the right choice, but I’d broken up with him over text an hour later. We just didn’t work as lovers, and if we couldn’t have that, why be more than friends?

“It’s not something you have to think about. Clearly you’ve had situations where you were attracted to women or you wouldn’t be questioning this. The Rachel Brosnahan thing was real. All the stuff you’ve been describing to me is real. All that other shit is just white noise.” She squeezes my hand. “Please. Slow down, enjoy the movie.” She pulls away, looks at her hand, and makes a face. “What did you put on my hand?”

I smile. “Ranch and bacon grease, probably.”

“Glamorous.”

I look away as she licks the ranch off her hands.

“Thanks, by the way,” I say.

“Anytime,” she replies as she steals a few fries.

I study the movie ticket. “You know, Valeria Sullivan is Wyatt’s boss’s client. I talked to her for a second earlier this week.”

“She seems cool.”

“Very cool. Nicest client I’ve had to escort around.”

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