Page 40 of Every Beat of My Heart

“It’s been challenging but also rewarding.” When a kid finally caught the ball and went in for a touchdown. When he finally got the tackle just right, and the other player fell like a sack of potatoes. The pride on their face was everything.

“You’d better get back out there,” Daphne said. “Your players are going to wonder where you are.”

I turned and immediately ran into someone. I moved to steady her shoulders. “Sorry about that.”

Claire looked up at me. “Jameson.”

I should have taken a step back, but she felt too good under my palms. It was the closest I’d been to her since that night on her porch.

Claire was the first to step back, her eyes darting around us. “You ready for the game, coach?”

The kids called me that, but Claire never had. I wasn’t sure I liked it. I preferred when she called me Jameson. It felt like she was the one person who saw me. “We are.”

“Good luck out there.”

I knew what she was doing, pretending we weren’t anything more than coach and parent, when I wanted so much more.

Claire moved up the bleachers to find a seat, and Daphne raised her brow at me. Shit. That had played out in front of my entire family. I hope they hadn’t noticed how Claire made me feel off-kilter. If so, they wouldn’t let me hear the end of it.

“I’d better get out there,” I mumbled as I stalked toward the field, yelling out a reminder about the starting lineup.

I told them to grab water. Then it was time for the coin toss. Once the game started, I was completely focused on my players, the next play, and what was happening on the field. I yelled out encouragement and praise. At this age, confidence was everything.

I found myself telling more than one player to let a mistake go. A missed tackle, a dropped ball only lasted as long as you let it. They needed to move on. But it was a hard skill to learn and would take them a while to get it, if ever. Only the best players could put mistakes behind them and continue as if it hadn’t happened.

By halftime, we were down twenty-one to seven. I didn’t pay attention to the crowd; I focused on the kids. “We still have time to turn this around. Don’t look at the scoreboard. It’s a zero-zero game. On offense, let’s move down the field, one play at a time. On defense, let’s stop them one play at a time. You ready to go back out there?”

When they all nodded, I said, “Cougars on three.”

They yelled “Cougars,” and then “We believe we will win!” and continued chanting for a few seconds. The energy was contagious. When they ran out onto the field I yelled, “Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go.”

Colton’s dad, Tim, stood next to me. “You’re doing a good job with them.”

I glanced at the scoreboard. “Are you sure about that? We’re down by fourteen.”

He gave me a look. “You just told them it was a scoreless game. You might want to take your own advice.”

I sighed. “You’re right. And thank you.”

He touched my shoulder. “You got this, coach.”

There was something about this show of support from people who hadn’t known me my whole life that felt good.

The next half was different. I could see the kids were more focused and less inclined to get upset when something didn’t go right. They quickly regrouped with Colton leading the positivity train. At the end of the game, the score was twenty-four to twenty-one, and even though we didn’t win, I was overcome with emotion.

I had them take a knee in the center of the field. “I couldn’t be prouder of you. You put the first half behind you and went back out there looking like a different team. That’s progress. That’s success.”

“But, coach, we lost,” Bryce whined.

“You didn’t. Not in here.” I touched my chest over my heart. “You have more heart than the other team. You went out and fought. And, yeah, we fell short today. But if you keep coming out there and playing like I just saw in this second half, all you’ll do is win.”

“All we do is win, coach,” Colton said leading a new chant. “All we do is win.”

And it might have confused the fans because we most certainly lost, but it felt good, and I knew we’d come out the next time looking even better.

I directed the kids to clean up, grab their bags, and to shower at home. There were parents waiting to talk to me, so I put on my game face and started with Brian.

“You lost.”

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