Page 24 of For Real

Because, Jesus, nobody told me the back of my neck was directly connected to my cock. When he kisses me there, it’s hot and cold and sort of bright all at once, as if my veins are full of light. He’s everywhere, inside and out, and I melt under him into this puddle of wriggling, groaning yes. And I’m glad I’ve got something to hold on to because I could fall through the cracks in the universe on feeling this good.

I let my head flop between my outstretched arms.

Do it again. Do it again.

He pulls away instead, but before I have a chance to be seriously disappointed, his tongue paints this wet streak of ecstasy from the crease of my arse and up my spine. At first it’s mainly surprising, then it’s kind of nice, and then it’s fucking incredible as all the nerves in my back sit up and take notice, tingling with anticipation and then fizzing with response as he ignites them one by fucking one. I’m so alive, so intoxicated with it that I have no idea where his tongue is even supposed to be. It feels like my whole back is touched, all at the same time. And I lose everything in sensation. Everything but him.

Suddenly, I notice I’m kind of…making this noise. Like hnnnnnnnn except my breath is all shaky so it’s more like hn-nuh-nuh-nuhhhhhh, like I’m a lawn mower that won’t start. And I try to stop it, but I can’t. I can’t.

Apparently that’s what happens when you lick my back.

Who knew?

His open mouth is at my nape again, hot and damp, and the scrape of his teeth, and oh God I nearly come. Pure panic is just enough to hold back, well, most of it, but I lie there twitching, in a pool of wet, and want to die in a bad way.

“Toby?” His voice at my ear.

Nope. I’m too embarrassed for actual words.

“What’s the matter? Too much?”

If I don’t say anything, he’ll forget I exist. La-la-la-la-lah. Toby Finch has left the building.

“Toby? Please, what did I do?”

God, he sounds genuinely scared. I hide my face in my upper arm. “Dude. I just nearly came.”

“Pardon?”

I turn my mouth a bit to the side. “I. Nearly. Came.”

His lips follow the top curve of my ear, which makes me go all tingly again. “Isn’t that rather the point?”

“Err, no.” It’s hard to think when he’s touching me… I’d say like this, but it’s really at all. “The point is to come at the right time. Otherwise it’s premature ejaculation.”

“The right time to come, darling, is when you want to come.”8

He called me “darling.” Turns out, my cock likes that too, and I whimper a little bit as it drips. He tugs at my lobe, and that’s it. Undone. I start lawn-mowering again.

“I want”—there’s a catch in his voice—“to please you, Toby.”

Arrrgh. That’s not helping. I squeeze the rail. Twelve times one is twelve. Twelve times two is twenty-four. Twelve times three is— He nuzzles into the side of my neck, rubbing me with the roughness of his unshaven jaw. I don’t have a fucking clue what three twelves are.

“Please let me.”

His hotness blows my tiny mind once more. I can’t believe he’s…actually begging to make me feel amazing. Life just doesn’t get better than this.

And there’s more. I can tell he’s shaking. So hard.

“You have no idea,” he whispers, “what you do to me.”

He’s right. I don’t. I have no idea how I can possibly do anything to anyone really. But, God, it’s a fucking awesome notion that I could.

“You seriously have to fuck me,” I tell him. “Like right the fuck now. Because you might not think so, but as far as I’m concerned, if I come without your cock in me, it’s really bloody premature.”

“Oh, Toby.” He’s heading back down my spine, pressing my own name into me like gemstones. “Toby. Toby.”

He sounds so wrecked. It’s beautiful. I have no fucking idea what I’ve done in my life to deserve something this wonderful, but I swear, I’m about to get religion.

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