Page 43 of Captive Heart

Right now, it was completely fair to say that it wasn't Melody who had an issue with the practice and procedure; it was him!

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Micah sucked in a breath, his mind reeling. He’d made promises and assurances which would have catastrophic consequences if he went back on them.

Not only would he risk undermining Melody's own self-belief, which he’d been working so hard to encourage, but he would destroy her faith in him and the value of his words, causing everything to spiral backward into a damaging web of uncertainty and insecurity which would jeopardise everything he’d built so far.

And yet the thought of providing discipline to a woman who had been so badly misused and mistreated turned Micah’s stomach until his entire body was rigidly tensed at the prospect.

Jesus Christ! He had to pull himself together and get his head in the game before he did more harm than good.

And the first thing he needed to do was to re-evaluate his own misconceptions.

Micah drew in a deep breath, closed his eyes and re-centred himself.

It was fairly straightforward. Melody was asking for a spanking. That was certainly something Micah could provide.

Not only that, but her perceptions of why she needed discipline were nothing to do with her mistreatment. They were a relatively objective motivation of cause and effect, guilt and forgiveness. It was a way for her to absolve herself of the guilt she felt over taking something that wasn't hers, even though it was necessary to save her life. Even though Micah had promised to correct the situation, this was Melody's own proactive way toward forgiving herself. And Micah knew just how important that was.

He’d known that something was eating at her and had encouraged her to talk about it and ask for what she needed.

Now it was up to him to put his money where his mouth was.

It would be okay. He could make this into a learning experience. He needed to trust Melody to understand her own needs, as he’d been encouraging her to do.

She was strong, he already knew that, and he had to support that she knew her own mind, otherwise, any insight he offered her was worthless or, worse, detrimental to what he was trying to achieve.

But he did need to consider his own feelings in this scenario. For his own peace of mind, he had to ensure he kept this as far away from any of the negatives she had endured as he could. He wished he knew more about the specifics of both her previous relationships, so he could steer clear of anything which might provide a trigger. He guessed Daddy was less of an issue, since there was clearly some affection there.

But V…Micah didn't want anything he did to have resonance there.

Adopting a calm composure, Micah met Melody's tearful gaze with an assurance he was far from feeling. "Okay." He nodded his assent. "That is something I can help you with, but it will be on my terms, understand?"

Melody nodded enthusiastically, a little spark of something akin to joy lighting her features, which at least went some way to easing Micah's misgivings.

As he tried not to feel like he was winging it, Micah catalogued most likely scenarios alongside what he knew about Melody's prior treatment. He knew from her injuries that V had used a whip and the type of bondage that had caused abrasions and laceration to her wrists and ankles, so he'd be avoiding all those things.

Plus, the man had kept her naked, so he wasn't going to go there, either. But Melody still needed to believe he was taking this seriously and not just patronising her.

"Lay over my knee, Melody." Micah patted his thigh, injecting the necessary command into his voice.

Melody’s breath shuddered in anticipation, and she bit her lip. Micah quirked a single eyebrow, which had her scrambling to do his bidding. He swallowed his amusement and concentrated on being what she needed him to be.

Since she’d alluded to the use of a hairbrush paddle and a spanking bench with Daddy, Micah was going to avoid those, even though she’d inferred something close to affection for them. He wanted this experience to be exclusive to the pair of them, though it was likely she'd received an over-knee, bare hand spanking as part of her dynamic with her daddy.

Micah, however, was not going to be treating her as a little.

Right on the heels of that thought, he found himself surprised at how awkward she was in placing herself over his knee.

"Have you never been over a man's knee before?" he couldn't help asking as she toppled forward and tried to balance herself with her hands on the floor.

"No, Sir," she panted. "Daddy had arthritis in his knees and couldn't bear my weight."

Micah tried to ignore the little stab of satisfaction that rippled through him at that piece of information, but he didn't entirely succeed. It was only because it played into his desire to keep this separate from her other experiences, he told himself stubbornly, even while a certain contentment blossomed in his chest.

“Micah,” he reminded her as he shoved the sensation aside and firmed his lips. "Well, this is how I'm going to give you a spanking," he informed her, settling her into position and using one of his powerful legs to pinion her own, immobilising her at the same time as providing support. "You will count each one, and if you miss, we'll start again from the beginning. Understand?"

"Yes, Si - Micah!" It was no more than a whisper, but Micah could have sworn he picked up an undercurrent of excitement in her voice.

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