He was so big and strong.
A natural born protector.
“You’re safe, Baby. I will never let anyone hurt you,” he said, reassuring me without me having to tell him to.
“I know you won’t,” I replied, kissing his chest.
I knew I shouldn’t delay any longer. It was about time I let Josef in.
If we had any hopes for a future together, he needed to know the past. He deserved that much. We both deserved the opportunity to make something of this whatever we had.
I felt his arms tighten around me, and I exhaled a slow breath.
The rise and fall of his chest were steadying, grounding me as I started to reveal the truth about my eighteenth birthday.
“I’m going to tell you something,” I started,
“Okay, I’m listening.”
“That night, after we, you know, in the garden,” I began, my voice barely above a whisper. “I tried to sneak back into the house, but Dad, I mean, Franklin, was there. He’d been drinking, and he was angry.”
I remembered the all too familiar posture of my drunk stepfather as he sneered at me.
Later, he’d said he was too drunk to remember what he did.
But he wasn’t drunk enough to not lie and bribe Josef. So drunk wasn’t a good excuse. Drunk was a copout.
“I tried to walk past him. He’d gotten drunk before, and he was never very pleasant to be around, anyway. I knew it was wiser to avoid a conflict when he’d been drinking, so I didn’t even reply when he asked where I’d been.”
“Did he get drunk a lot back then?” Josef asked, and I shrugged.
“I’m not sure. I was pretty busy senior year, and nursing my infatuation with you,” I said honestly.
Josef grunted, his hand still rubbing my back.
“He got mad. Blocked off my exit. Told me he saw us in the garden. Called me a whore. Said I was like my mother. He said a lot of mean things. Then he told me about her, and how she’d tricked him into marrying her, thinking I was his.”
I took a big breath. Readying myself for the next part.
“But I wasn’t his daughter. He told me my father was just some loser. A low life who never wanted my mother or me. Then he told me I ruined his plans,” I whispered, shivering at the memory.
“What plans?” Josef asked, his voice husky and angry.
“H-he was trying to close a business deal, and uh, I was part of the arrangement. Franklin planned to gift me, his virgin daughter, to the owner of Petro Star Oil. They went bust a few years ago. Apparently, the man was a fucking pig. Anyway, Franklin knew he lost the deal, and he was mad.”
“Motherfucker. Did he—no, I know he did. What did he do?” Josef asked, but I shook my head.
It was clear he was angry, and I didn’t want him angry.
“Please, tell me, Little Red. I need to know.”
Josef kissed my temple, holding me tighter, and I knew he was right. I couldn’t keep it from him anymore than I could keep it from haunting my dreams.
“He screamed at me. Then, he just pulled my hair and shoved me into his chair at his desk. He forced me to write a note saying I was just playing with you and saying goodbye. He had my hair so tight, and I was so scared. I just did it. I’m so sorry I wrote what he wanted me to, but I didn’t know what to do?—”
“Oh fuck. Shit. Meredith, you did nothing wrong. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I believed him,” Josef said, sitting up with me in his arms.
He held me even tighter, cupping my cheek and kissing my head as the memories just poured out of me, like a weeping wound.