Page 48 of His Wild Seduction

So, like a fucking fool, I sat there dreaming that maybe, just maybe, it could be true.

Maybe Meredith remained chaste for fifteen years.

I didn’t.

Suddenly, I felt ashamed. I could blame the demands of my job or biological need, but however infrequently I indulged over the years, I always felt empty afterward.

I sated my lust with whoever was willing to indulge me on my terms. I could argue that just made me human. But I still felt guilty. It always felt like betrayal.

In the years we were apart, I fucked, but I didn’t date. Never wanted anyone like that. Hell, my stomach turned at the mere idea.

I shouldn’t feel like I needed to apologize for being human. But I wanted to.

Christ, I wanted to confess everything to her. How I tried to drown her out of my brain and heart with booze, battle, and women. How sick I felt during and after. Every. Fucking. Time.

God, how I’d punish myself after.

Rigorous training, dangerous assignments. You name it, I did it. Anything to ease the taint of my sins.

Killing men was simple compared to sleeping with a woman who was not her.

Now that we were legally bound, I would never touch another.

Neither of us would.

Just admitting that to myself eased the burden on my soul.

I inhaled, feeling lighter, unaware of the eyes on me.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

JOSEF

The atmosphere inside Adrik’s enormous office shifted as everyone’s attention turned to me. I pretended not to notice at first.

New York City was shrouded in clouds, visible through the window wall behind Adrik’s massive desk and chair. I huffed out a sigh.

Fucking busybody motherfuckers.

“Alright, Josef. We’ve waited a week, but you’re still keeping to yourself. No more hiding. Tell us,” Adrik said.

“Fuck,” I muttered, rubbing my hand across my face.

“I know I was fucking with you before, but you are family, Josef. You can tell us anything,” Marat said.

“Fine, You know I married her. I married Meredith?—”

“Wait. Meredith? Why do I know that? Holy shit. You married Meredith Gray! The girl you used to bodyguard?” Marat asked, his mouth dropped open.

“She’s thirty fucking two years old. Not a girl. Not underage. And she’s my wife,” I growled.

“No! I mean, yeah! But she was in high school?—”

“I never fucking touched her until she turned eighteen. And it was only once. One time and she fucking sent her Daddy to me with a check to buy me off,” I snapped, pissed off at everyone, me included.

“We know you would never touch an underage girl, Josef. But you only touched her once?” Adrik asked, cocking his head to the side.

“I remember how she destroyed you. You were with this girl one time, but you mourned her for years, Josef. Never got over your obsession with her then, did you?” he said it like there was even a question.

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