Page 47 of Van

“Isn’t that what I’m doin’ already?” I ask him, turning my head to look at him.

“I guess so. But that’s a lifelong commitment, Van. That means there’s no turnin’ back.”

“I know what the hell it means, Free. I just can’t picture my life without them in it. I’ve tried. I’ve thought about what she said that night, and I’ve thought about endin’ it all with her, but then it becomes clear. I can see myself with her in years to come. I can see us raising that little boy,” I tell him truthfully.

“I don’t know what the fuck to say. I didn’t think I’d see the day,” he says.

“I want to get a house.”

“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me right now? You’re makin’ a lot of life decisions right now, Van.”

“It makes sense. They need a home, yeah?”

“They have one here.”

“Come on. You know we can’t raise the baby here. Shit is too wild around here on a good day. We might have toned it down for her right now, but it isn’t gonna stay that way,” I remind him. As nice as it’s been to have them here, I think the smart plan is to find a house. They need stability.

“Fuck, brother. I knew you cared about them, but this much?”

“Yeah, this much. In fact, there’s a few places I was gonna take her to look at today.” Free sits back in his chair, staring out into the nothingness without saying a word. He doesn’t know what to say, and I get that. It isn’t a decision I just made overnight. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

“If this is what you want, then I say go for it. Go after what you want, Van.”

“Thanks, brother. I plan on it.” I shove out of my chair and walk back inside to find Nicole. She offered to babysit while I took Chy out for a little while. She has no idea what we’re going to do, either.

“Hey, Nic. You still good to watch, little man?”

“Yeah. Just waiting on Chy to finish getting ready.” Just as she says that, Chy walks down the hall with Nate in her arms. I walk over and kiss her before pressing one to his head, too.

“You ready?”

“I don’t know how I feel about this, Van. What if something happens?”

“Nothin’ is gonna happen. We’re not gonna be gone that long,” I tell her.

“Are you sure? We’ll stay close by, right?” she asks. I love her concern for her son. I love that she loves him like that. It reminds me of my family, and it makes me proud to be a part of theirs.

“It’s close by. I promise,” I assure her once more, needing her to relax a little.

“Okay.” She looks down at the baby in her arms before passing him off to Nicole.

“Aunt Nicole has got this,” she promises with a smile. I trust Nicole with him. She’s been the best friend Chy could have asked for since she’s been here and from what I heard long before that.

“I know it just makes me nervous to leave him,” Chyanne tells her. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side.

“You need to breathe, baby. Nate’s gonna be fine with her.” She nods her head as she takes one last look at Nate before kissing his head. Then I grab her hand and pull her along with me and out the door. Leading her over to the truck, I pull the door open and help her inside.

“Are you sure about this?”

“I’m sure. I promise it’s a five to seven minute drive, babe.”

“Okay.” I close her door and walk around, climbing in the driver’s seat. I start up the truck and pull out, heading down the road.

“You excited?” I ask her, reaching over and clamping my hand on her thigh. She lifts her own and rests it over mine.

“A little. It’s just weird leaving him,” she tells me.

“I know. We’re so used to him bein’ right with us.”

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