Page 55 of Van

“I think you’re a great mom.” Tears burn my eyes as I turn to face my best friend.

“That means the world to me, Nic.”

“It’s the truth. You’re good at this. I don’t think I would be as calm as you are,” she says, smiling at me.

“You’d be great. You have a big heart, Nic.”

“Maybe one day.”

She finishes the bottle and hands it to me just as Nate starts to get cranky. I feed him the bottle, and he instantly calms down, just like he usually does. It’s weird being here without Van. It’s weird sitting here knowing what I know, but at the same time, it’s nice to be here with Nicole.

We talk about anything and everything as we wait to hear anything from Van. I doubt he would call and tell me it was over with, though. He doesn’t want me to worry, and I don’t know that I’d want to hear it.

My nerves are shot after sitting here for close to an hour. I don’t know what else to talk about. I don’t know what else to say or how to keep my mind from wandering to places it shouldn’t go.

I watch Nicole with Nate as she walks around the room, talking to him. She smiles and laughs and tells him stories. It makes my heart swell with pride knowing I have a friend like her. She means the world to me and I don’t know what I’d do without her.

“He is the best, Chyanne,” she tells me when she walks back over to where I’m still sitting.

“I told you he was a good baby. He loves it when you talk to him.”

“Just to watch his little face is pure joy,” she says.

“He’s pretty great.”

“He is, and I’m so happy to be his aunt.”

“Speaking of aunts. He wants to introduce Nate to his family as his son,” I confess. Her eyebrows shoot up as her mouth falls open.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No. He told me a few days ago.”

“That’s … wow. That’s awesome, Chy. What did you say?”

“I said yeah. I don’t see Van leaving anytime soon,” I tell her.

“Or ever. He made you his old lady, Chyanne. That means a lot to these guys.”

“I’m just scared he might change his mind later,” I admit to her. That’s been a fear sitting in the back of my mind since he told me.

“He won’t. He made you his old lady for a reason, Chy. He gave this baby his last name for a reason, too, and it wasn’t just about Derrick. Don’t overthink this.”

“You think that’s what I’m doing?” She laughs.

“I know that’s what you’re doing. Let things happen, Chyanne. They are happening for a reason.”

Chapter 25

Van

We’re in the basement of an old apartment complex. No one will hear his screams from here; no one is around. He’s tied to the chair, his eyes staying locked angrily on mine as I pace back and forth in front of him. I wanted to kill him slowly. Drag it out and make it hurt. Then, I wanted to kill him quickly. Just get it over with and get back to my girl and my son. Now I’m undecided. But I have time. That’s one thing on my side.

“I thought about cuttin’ your throat,” I tell him as I pull my knife free and twirl it between my fingers. “Thought about shootin’ you in the head, too. None of them seem enough now,” I say as I stand in front of him, pressing the tip of my knife into his cheek.

“I think you should make him fight you like a man. See how hard he can really hit since he likes to hit girls,” Free suggests as he stands off to the side. I look over at him and nod my head in agreement before looking back at Derrick.

“You like that? Hittin’ on women? Not just any women, pregnant women.” I cut the tape covering his mouth so he could speak, and he does.

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