Page 54 of Van

Chapter 24

Chyanne

“You look great for just having a baby six weeks ago, Chy. I can’t believe it,” Nicole tells me.

“Thank you. It’s hard to believe he’s already six weeks old.”

“I know! I feel old already,” Nic laughs as she looks down at Nate. “How’s Van been with him?”

“He’s been amazing. He’s a great guy, Nic. He helps around the house or takes Nate when I’m tired. He does more than I actually expected him to.”

“That’s a good thing, right? He’s stepping up as a father figure,” she says as my heart sinks in my chest. Is that what he is? A father figure who is out killing right now? “What is it?”

“He’s out there doing god knows what to Derrick right now,” I tell her.

“Which he deserves.”

“Does he deserve to die?” I ask her because, frankly, I don’t know anymore. I know what he did to me was horrible, but death? I don’t know how I feel about that.

“He deserves whatever the guys do to him, Chyanne. He was going to kill you and not bat an eye. He was going to take Nate from you. You have to trust that what they’re doing is right.”

“I just don’t know how I feel about it. I mean, I get it to a point, but how is that being a good role model for Nate?”

“He isn’t flaunting it in front of you guys.”

“Does that really matter?” I ask her. I’m so on edge with this. I know Van isn’t a saint and that he’s done things before we were together, but this is hard for me to accept. Things have been going so well for us, and now this?

“Yeah, it does. Chyanne, come on. He’s doing this for you. Don’t you get that?”

“I do get that. And I’m so glad he wants to make sure Nate is safe. I just don’t know if I like how he’s going about it.”

“Well, this is how they deal with a threat, Chy. It’s something you’re going to have to get used to,” she says. Is it something I can get used to? I never thought I’d be with a man like Van. One who handles his problems outside the law, but I can’t picture myself without him now. I want him too much. I care too much. And if this is something I have to get used to in order to keep him around, then I have to do it. I suck in a deep breath and blow it out slowly before looking at Nic.

“You’re right. I have to get used to it. This is who he is.”

“He isn’t doing this for no reason. Keep that in mind,” she tells me. She’s right. He isn’t doing this for no reason. He has a reason. And we are that reason.

“How do I sit here and not freak out, Nic? He could be hurt. What if he gets hurt instead?”

“He’s not going to get hurt. It’s Derrick we’re talking about. He can’t hurt Van.”

“What if he does? He was clearly on something when he took me,” I remind her. That’s reason enough for him to do something bad to Van.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You’re stressing for nothing. Van is going to be fine, and he’s going to come back to you.”

“You’re right. I have to think positive,” I tell her. I pull Nate out of his car seat when I see him open his eyes. I know he’s going to be hungry, and that will be the perfect distraction for me. “Want to make him a bottle?”

“Yes! I want to do anything I can for that little guy. How’s he been doing anyway? Sleeping well? Letting mom get some dick?” I laugh now.

“He’s sleeping great. He’s such a good baby, Nic. I wouldn’t mind a whole basketball team of him.”

“Have you guys talked about kids?”

“No way. Too soon,” I tell her with a laugh. As much as I love Nate and as good as he is, I’m not ready for another one any time soon. I want to cherish the time I have with Nate first.

“But at some point, you would want another one? With Van?”

“I don’t think I would mind that. I liked being pregnant with Nate, and he’s been such a good baby. But that’s in the future. No time soon,” I remind her.

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