Page 34 of Van

“Talk about what? You coming home? You’re home, baby! No one is going to look for you here,” he tells me. My heart beats a little faster inside my chest as I realize he’s right. No one is going to find me here. I’m going to have to figure out a way to get out of here. I can’t live like this. I can’t let my baby be born into this. The harder he squeezes my face, the more I know he’s leaving marks.

“You’re hurting me.”

“Oh, I plan on hurting you, Chyanne. I plan on hurting you so much more for leaving me.”

“Please,” I beg, trying to keep the tears from falling from my eyes. Derrick can’t do this. He can’t do this to me and this baby.

“There’s no please, Chyanne. You’re not going anywhere until you have that baby. You think I care about you? No, baby. It’s that baby I want. Not you. I don’t give a fuck about you anymore.” He isn’t making sense. That’s not what he said earlier. He said if he couldn’t have me, no one would. He has to be on something. He’s not acting right.

“You don’t want me?” I ask him, trying to defuse his anger.

“No. I don’t need you, Chyanne. All I need you for is this baby,” he says, lowering one of his hands to my stomach. Internally, I cringe. I don’t want him touching me. I don’t want him near me or my baby.

“This baby needs me, Derrick. I’m his mother,” I tell him. His eyes come to meet mine, a slight smile curling his lips.

“It’s a boy?” Fuck. I didn’t want him to know that. I didn’t want to tell him and now I did.

“It’s a boy.”

“I’m having a son,” he murmurs in awe as he drops to his knees in front of me. His hands come to rest on my stomach before he presses a kiss to my bump. I want to vomit. I want to scream, but I know none of that will do me any good.

“I’m having a son.”

Chapter 15

Van

Remain calm. That’s what I keep telling myself as I bring the cigarette to my lips and listen to Nicole tell the story one more time. I’ve made her repeat everything that had happened at least six times now, and it never gets easier for me. Something inside of me wants to snap, but I know that wouldn’t do anyone any good. So I repeat, stay calm in my head over and over again.

“And she said what?” I ask once more.

“She said to tell you thank you.”

“She didn’t want to go?” Mask asks her this time.

“No, Mask. You have to find her. You can’t let him hurt her,” she cries harder now. I sit back in my seat, just trying to reason this out in my head. He took her. I didn’t think he would. I didn’t see him as the type and yet, he did it. He took my girl. Now what the fuck do I do?

“What do you think about this?” Mask asks me. I take another drag from my cigarette and lean forward, resting my elbows on the table in front of me.

“I think I’m gonna kill him for touchin’ her. I think I’m gonna rip his goddamn spine out,” I tell him. Mask nods his head before taking a long pull from his beer. The atmosphere is calm as we talk about this. I have to be calm, or I’m going to lose it. I’m going to snap and lose it on everyone.

“Why are you so calm? Why aren’t you worried about this?” Nicole snaps at us.

“Oh, I’m worried, Nic. I’m pissed. I’m about to snap and lose it here. I’m hangin’ on by a thread, so don’t you fuckin’ tell me I’m not worried because it may be your ass I take it out on,” I warn her. I’m not playing with her. I’m barely holding my shit together right now. I want to snap and take her head off, but I can’t do that. I need to be rational and think about this.

“Where would he take her?” Pike interrupts, asking Nicole.

“I don’t know. I don’t know why he’d even go after her,” she tells him.

“He’s a dead man walkin’,” I add.

“I get you’re angry, Van, and you’re tryin’ to hold it together, but we have other things goin’ on too. We have the meet with that other MC comin’ up too.” I chuckle and lean back in my chair, looking at Mask as if he’s grown two heads.

“Do you think I care about that shit right now? That I give a fuck about that other MC? I told you to kill them all and be done with it, didn’t I?”

“I get this whole stay calm so you don’t snap shit, but I need you to focus here.”

“Focus? She’s pregnant, Mask! She’s fuckin’ carryin’ a baby, and he took her!” I snarl louder this time. Slowly, ever so slowly, I’m coming unhinged. I want blood on my hands, and I don’t care how I have to get it; I want Derrick.

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