Page 15 of Bender

Thirteen

GREY

Days go by faster when sunrises and sunsets are part of the routine.

In the before time, which is how I’ve been trying to box up my thoughts from life before Superhero found us, it was impossible to know time.

“Is it breakfast yet?” I whisper to Blu. My stomach’s been growling for ages. So much so, it woke me up. She’s lying right next to me on the bed, so I know she has to hear it, too.

Since our first night here, Konrad’s been sleeping on a couch he and the guy called Arlo dragged into the room. He says it’s only fair that Blu and I share the bed since there are two of us.

“You’re gonna get fat. All you do is eat anymore,” she whispers back.

“Konrad says I still got growing to do and I should eat as much as I want. Don’t be mean.” My hunger disappears at Blu’s words. What if she’s right and I am eating too much? Food costs a lot of money, and I don’t have any of that. If I keep eating so much food, Konrad might decide I’m not worth it.

My breathing gets choppy as panic and fear start to overtake me. Prickly sweat forms under my arms. I squeeze my eyes shut tight because they’re stinging with tears, and as terrible as everything is, I don’t want Blu to get upset, too.

“I’m sorry, Grey. I didn’t mean it,” Blu whispers. I hear the apology in her voice, and it only makes the hard knot in my throat bigger.

The bed dips behind me, and I peek over my shoulder to see Konrad settling against the headboard with his legs stretched in front of him. He opens his arms for me, and I’m helpless to do anything but crawl into them.

Since the first hug he asked permission to give me, there’s nowhere I feel safer than in his arms. He pulls me into his lap and drapes my legs over his. His left arm wraps around me and tucks my head into the curve of his shoulder. The calluses on his hands snag in my bedhead as he pushes the hair back from my face, and then he reaches out to Blu.

“Come here, Jellybean.” He speaks quietly but firmly. Serious like.

“I wasn’t being mean, Kon. I swear.” Blu’s eyes are shining almost purple in the morning light, but they’re glossy with tears.

I’m mad at my stomach for our horrible day. Last night, Konrad promised he had a surprise for us today, and I probably already ruined it with my big, greedy tummy.

“You might not have meant to be mean, Sweetheart, but commenting on someone’s appearance isn’t the nice thing to do. Even if Grey was the biggest, roundest man you ever saw, it wouldn’t be kind to criticize him.” I hear kindness when Konrad talks. I hope Blu can hear it, too.

“I’m sorry, Grey. Sorry, Kon,” she mumbles.

Konrad holds out the arm not holding me, and she crawls over the mattress to lean against him. He pulls her tight into our hug, and Blu’s arms go around us both.

“It’s okay, Blu. I know you weren’t being mean. I’m worried, too,” I say.

Konrad’s muscles turn to rock beneath me when I admit I’m worried.

“Worried? About what?” he growls. Actually growls. I didn’t know that was a real thing people can do, but Superhero does. When he gets real intense about something, he goes all deep and rumbly.

When it happens, I feel it in my guts, too. Like there’s a rope wrapped all around us, pulling my insides to the outsides. Sort of like my heart gets thumpy, and my skin is waiting for a zap from touching a light switch.

“Grey. What are you worrying about?” There’s a question mark at the end of his sentence, but he’s not really asking me. He’s telling me I’m going to tell him.

“I’m not worth it. You’re taking care of me, and I’m using you because I don’t do anything to earn my keep.” The words tumble out, almost jumbled with my panic.

“You earn your keep by existing in my universe. By giving me people to care for, look after. Your keep is being my purpose. Both of you.”

I feel his certainty when he speaks.

The words vibrate my cheek through the muscles of his chest. Blu tangles her fingers in mine and kisses our fingertips.

“You really mean it, don’t you? All of it. Like some fairytale at first sight thing…” she says.

“I didn’t say it made any sense, Jellybean. It’s almost like an earthquake only I could feel knocked the ground out from under me the moment I set eyes on the both of you. Call it fairytale, or fate, or kismet. Doesn’t matter what label you give it,” Konrad says.

“You’re keeping us,” I whisper.

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