Page 29 of Curveball: The Baby and the Grump

“You don’t,” says Jackson, his breath dancing over my skin.

“Let me go check on Matt, then I’ll come right back.”

“Deal.”

I can feel Jackson’s eyes burning into my naked body as I get up, and though I shiver at the cool air of the bedroom, I don’t bother to put any clothes on. Jackson’s seen it all now anyway. I don’t have anything to hide.

Fortunately, my phone is in the bathroom exactly where I hoped I had left it. I pick it up, and to my relief, I only have one message from Matt.

All good here. See you after school tomorrow.

I let out the breath I’ve been holding. I’d have felt terrible if he’d needed me and I hadn’t been there.

I quickly write back, Sorry I didn’t reply last night — went to bed early. Sorry if you worried. See you later, love you the most.

I hit send and almost immediately I get a thumbs-up in reply. I should tell him off for being on his phone during school hours, but I can’t bring myself to be upset with him right now.

As the churning in my stomach starts to settle, I take a deep breath and set my phone back down. I give myself another minute in the bathroom, calming myself down, then pad back into the bedroom.

Jackson pulls the covers up to let me back in, and I crawl back into his arms without hesitation. “You’re so warm,” I say, nestling in as close as I can get.

“All the better to cuddle with,” he says smugly.

I take another deep breath, trying to lose myself in the sensation of the here and now. “Jackson, what are we doing? What does any of this mean?”

“Is this your way of trying to tell me that you didn’t have fun last night?”

“Oh, no. God no. It was great last night. Really, really great. Mind-blowing, actually. No one’s touched me like that in a long time.”

“Can’t understand why,” he says, his hand rolling down my thighs again. I giggle, my skin prickling with ticklishness. His lips find their way to my ear, and he starts nibbling on the lobe, sending a shot of desire straight to my core.

It’s not that I want him to stop, not at all. I just need to be sure. “Seriously, though. What is this? What are we?”

“You had fun, yeah?”

I nod slowly. “Yes. So much fun.”

“Me too. So, why make anything complicated? If it’s fun, let’s keep doing it. Do we need more words than that?”

I roll over to look at him, his face as soft and sincere as it gets. Like this, I can see exactly why he’s a heartthrob, with his pouting lips and intense, deep eyes that you can get lost in. I don’t really know what I was expecting him to say, but I don’t think it was that.

Am I disappointed?

No, I don’t think so. I mean, what was I really expecting — him to drop to his knees and propose? The idea of Jackson wanting us to be exclusive is laughable, when I think about it. But I guess it might have been nice if he would have been willing to commit, just a little more. Just so this could feel a little bit like ours.

But I’m not greedy, and it makes me dizzy to imagine doing this again. Besides, it’s probably too soon to label ourselves as being in a relationship anyway. I don’t want to put any sort of pressure on him, especially not when he’s lying here telling me that he wants me.

It feels like such a long time since anyone wanted me like this, and I don’t want to burst the bubble.

Dating in my situation isn’t exactly easy. Most people think it’s kind of weird that I live with my kid brother, and some people don’t even get as far as brother before assuming he’s my actual kid. It’s hard to bring people home and know Matt’s going to be there too.

Most people who have ever come home with me have stayed the night, and we’ve had a decent enough, albeit quiet, time — and then they leave, and that’s it. Somewhere inside me, I believe that Jackson could be different, but I don’t want to get my hopes up prematurely. Especially when he seems so hesitant to commit to anything.

If this is all we are for now, I can be happy with it.

“So, you do want to do this again?” I ask, trying not to sound as uncertain as I feel. I don’t want him to think I’m pathetically insecure.

A slow smile spreads across his face. “You really think I’m a total player, don’t you? You probably see me as some big sports star who can have any woman he wants and disposes of them the next day like they’re nothing.”

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