Page 23 of Curveball: The Baby and the Grump

“You know, I think you should take a vacation more often,” says John, folding his arms and following my gaze over to the kids. Sophia and Freya are playing with them now, and I can’t help but notice how natural Freya seems to be with them.

I guess it’s one of the main skills of nursing, to be able to put people at ease, but seeing her do it gives me butterflies in my stomach — and even I’m not too stupid to know what that means. I’ve gone and gotten attached. And if I’m not careful, I’m not going to want to let her go again.

“I’m not on vacation,” I throw back, not looking away from Freya.

“A break, then. It’s good to get some of your time for a change.”

“Well, when I retire, you can have as much of me as you want.”

“When will that be?” asks John, and I realize I haven’t told him I’m thinking about it. I’ve barely told anyone, honestly. I don’t want it to be a big deal. It’s not the kind of attention I can handle.

“It’s not so far off now,” I say, hoping I look nonchalant instead of panicked. “They’re already bringing in fresh blood. And I’m not going to be able to keep up at the Major League level forever. I just want to win one World Series. I want to go out on a high. Once I’ve hit the top of my career, then I’ll have all the time in the world for everything else.”

John’s eyes widen, just like his son’s. “Wow. This little break’s really doing you the world of good, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t want it,” I say, trying desperately to hold on to my carefully constructed persona of someone uncaring.

“I’m pleased to see it,” is all John says.

I know that what he means is it’s nice for them to see me, and it’s good that I’ve been thinking about my future. He’s pleased to see that I’m caring about stuff other than the game. And usually that kind of condescension from him would drive me nuts. Just because he’s got his life together doesn’t mean he knows everything. I still have a few tricks in me.

But as I keep watching Freya, I can’t help thinking about her. Really, it’s not the break that’s done anything for me. It’s been the influence of someone who really cares. Someone who’s been willing to put up with all my bullshit, to see through to the person I could be underneath. Who am I becoming?

“Anyway,” says John, finally letting awkwardness win again. “Let’s keep playing ball, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I say, and for the first time in years, give my brother a genuine smile.

CHAPTER 14

FREYA

Finally, Jackson gets bored of lunch and decides that we have to get on the move.

“All right, I’ve got to get Freya home,” he says, looking at me as if to ask if that’s okay. I nod slightly, and he gestures for me to get to my feet. As I do, and carefully slide my chair under the table, a rush of relief washes through me.

It’s not that this hasn’t been fun; it’s just… well, spending time with someone else’s family is always a lot, isn’t it?

Tegan launches to her feet too, grinning wildly at us. Stretching out both hands, she rushes in to give Jackson a huge hug and plant another kiss on his cheek. “My baby. It was so good to see you. Please don’t leave it too long till next time.”

“Yes.” He nods awkwardly, accepting his mother’s embrace but not looking at all happy about it.

Sophia comes up to me while the boys are busy with their grandmother, and says, “It was great to meet you.”

“You too,” I smile.

It’s been nice to have someone else to talk to over this lunch who isn’t strictly one of them. I know I’m more of an outsider than she is, but it would have been worse had it just been Jackson, his brother, their mother, and me. Plus, she’s a really interesting woman — she helped Tegan interior-design this place, and she’s worked for some properly impressive clients with her business.

She does all that work on top of being a mom. I know exactly how tired she must be.

At last, Jackson breaks away from his family and starts making towards the exit. I hurry after him, and Tegan trails behind to walk us out.

I suddenly feel like a huge, awkward cloud has settled over us, because for some reason I can’t explain, I have an urge to reach out and hold Jackson’s hand. It’s stupid and definitely not what I should do, especially with Tegan watching so close. And since we haven’t come here as a couple, and we’re not going home as one either, I push all thoughts of it out of my mind.

There is no us. I am just his nurse, his occasional chauffeur, his friend and sometimes confidant, and that’s all. But in this moment, fleetingly, it feels like I could be just a little more than that.

At the door, Tegan pulls me into a hug. “Thank you for looking after my baby. He needs all the help he can get.” Jackson scoffs with a frown, and she grins at me. “I hope you know he’s not this grumpy really. It’s all an act.”

Jackson’s frown just deepens, and I smile. “I think I’m starting to get him figured out.”

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