Page 34 of Bi-Partisan

Jamie Montgomery

Mar 15, 8:32 PM

I’m jealous

Understandable. Joseph is the best cat

Oh I meant of Joseph. What I would do to be curled up on that cozy blanket right now

Thank you. I needed that smile

<3

It’s nearly 10:00 p.m. before we finally get any news on primary results.

“Oh, hold on, I think this is it,” Sophie exclaims, reaching across me to hit Casey since he’s been in control of the remote tonight. I brace myself as a map of the country pops up on screen highlighting North Carolina, Oregon, Kentucky, and Idaho.

“Polls have closed in four states holding primaries tonight: North Carolina, Oregon, Kentucky, and Idaho, each hosting congressional and Senate primaries, and three of those four states also hosting primaries for governor,” the 9:00 p.m. show host says. She goes into some details on the governor’s race in Kentucky, which has been getting some attention, before turning things over to a political analyst and correspondent.

I don’t really pay attention to it, though. I’m too busy holding my breath waiting for any mention of North Carolina. As if she can sense my anxiety—which she probably can since it’s practically rolling off of me and has been all evening—Sophie takes my hand and laces our fingers together. And now that she’s seen me in full on panic attack mode, I just let myself accept the comfort, squeezing her hand.

“One other race to tell you about,” the correspondent says as he swipes on the monitor behind him to a screen with Jamie’s picture on it, “something that has been getting a lot of social media attention in the past few weeks. Jamie Montgomery, the current representative for North Carolina’s thirteenth district running for re-election. There’s been some debate on how he would come out of tonight given the recent leaked photographs of him and his apparent boyfriend at a DC nightclub. His post on Instagram coming out as bisexual following the leaked pictures went viral, gathering support from the queer community all over the country. And tonight, he has won the nomination in North Carolina’s thirteenth district.”

“Oh, thank God,” Casey sighs next to me.

The tension I’ve been holding in my shoulders all day dissipates immediately as I let out an audible sigh of relief. And that’s what I’m feeling. Relief. I honestly wasn’t sure what outcome I was hoping for more going into this, as awful as that may make me sound. Obviously, the altruistic part of me hoped he’d win because that gives him a shot at keeping his job in November. But I can’t say the thought that, if he didn’t win, the amount of time I have to pretend to be his fake boyfriend would be drastically cut short didn’t cross my mind.

“What does that mean?” the correspondent asks, swiping again to bring up a map of Jamie’s new district and a photo of a generic gray haired white man somewhere in his fifties or sixties. “He will face Geoffrey Mitchell, the Republican nominee and a current North Carolina state senator. This district has been redrawn as part of the state’s overall redistricting, and now slightly favors the Republicans. So, his path to re-election will be tough. However, tonight he won the more suburban areas outside of Raleigh. So there may be some energy behind Montgomery in those areas of North Carolina where Democrats have struggled with voter turnout in the past.”

The camera pans back to the host, but I’m no longer paying attention as I search for my phone in the couch cushions and blankets so I can text Jamie congratulations. However, just as I go to unlock it, his contact photo pops up on the screen. Why is he calling me instead of celebrating with his staff and parents?

“Give me a minute,” I say before quickly extracting myself from the pile of blankets, friends, and cats and walking to my bedroom for some privacy.

“Hello?” I answer tentatively, realizing it’s been a while since we’ve done anything but text since he’s been so busy going back and forth between here and Cary.

“Hey, darlin’,” Jamie’s voice comes through the phone. In the background, I can hear his friend Mina letting out a celebratory whoop.

“I just saw the results come in on MSNBC. Congratulations.” My tongue stumbles over the first few words as my brain recovers from the way that stupid pet name catches me off guard. I thought I’d gotten used to it over the past six weeks, but apparently not. It must be the accent that makes it feel like the word curls up in my chest.

He lets out a sigh, and even though I can’t see him, the image of him running a hand through his wavy hair immediately conjures in my mind.

“Thanks,” he says.

I expect him to say more, to be more excited. But he just sounds… tired. After a quick glance toward the short hallway leading to my living room, I decide to close my door. “Jamie,” I start carefully, “is everything alright?”

“Sorry,” he says, followed by another sigh. “Yeah, everything is fine. I think I just needed a minute and calling you was my excuse for that. Sorry, I know you’re with Casey and Sophie right now.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m here if you need to talk.” The assurance is out of my mouth before I can truly process it. I can’t even explain the offer other than that we’ve kind of struck up an unlikely friendship under the guise of making our fake relationship more believable.

“Thank you,” he says. “It’s just—” he blows out a frustrated breath. “I know I should be celebrating right now. But I couldn’t be around everyone right now, and I don’t know why.”

“There is nothing wrong with stepping away for a moment if you need it,” I say.

“I know, I’ve just never really been a person who needs to, ya know? I’m your classic definition of an extrovert. I’ve also never gotten easily overwhelmed. I thrive around people and under pressure. But lately…”

I sit on my bed and lean against the headboard, anticipating that this may be a longer conversation than I initially assumed.

“Lately I feel like I’m in a fight, and I’m constantly waiting for the next hit to come. Except I’m not, and I know I’m not, but I have no idea how to get it to stop. I also can’t help assuming that the worst is going to happen. Like tonight, I think I was actually anticipating that I’d lose, even though I was still ahead in the polls—I mean, less than I was before the pictures, but still ahead. But there was this little voice in my head that kept saying that polls are wrong all the time, and eventually, it was all I could hear. And I don’t know how to get that voice to shut up or how to stop feeling like I’m being fucking chased or something, and it’s exhausting. God, I’m so damn tired,” he says, all in a rush.

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