Page 68 of KAI Tortured

Dumbfounded is exactly what I am. I have no words; I just exchange awkward glances with Kai, then with Maisy, and I end up on Logan, who’s grinning. I’m surprised by the complexity of my feelings. Is it possible for one man to experience all that I am at this very moment?

The revelation shocks everyone. Maisy’s eyes are wide with surprise. Kai’s jaw drops open, and I just stare at the screen, speechless. The room is silent for a moment as the reality sinks in.

“Oh, wait, let me put the sound on.” Logan rolls his eyes at his forgetfulness. As if he didn’t just say Maisy is pregnant and she’s carrying two babies. Two. Two. TWO!

Suddenly, the room fills with the rapid, rhythmic sounds of the twins’ heartbeats.

Maisy’s eyes grow even wider. I squeeze her hand gently as my heart races with anticipation. Kai moves closer to her and puts his hand on her shoulder as he watches the monitor.

Maisy’s breath hitches in her throat. This whole moment is surreal. Tears well up in her eyes, but I don’t see fear at all. All I see is a deep, visceral connection that is immediately evident, and a whole lot of wonder.

This woman faces challenges with the heart of a champion.

“Are-Are you all okay? ‘Cause I’m fine, I really am. Don’t worry, you won’t have to do a thing,” she babbles, like she’s trying to fill the uncomfortable void we assholes have created with our silence. “I know I didn’t want kids, but there’s no way I’m not having them. I mean, look at them…” Her voice falters and tears begin to roll down her face as she points to the little shapes on the screen, two tiny lives. “They’re so helpless, so small, and I’m gonna protect them,” she whispers through her sobs. “I’m gonna do everything for them. They’re… They’re mine.” She wraps her arms around her stomach, as if we’re gonna take them away from her at any moment.

“Hey, hey, Maisy! Stop, just stop!” I grasp her shoulders, pulling her back from her tearful daze. “We’re here, we’re not going anywhere. There’s not a force in this world that would keep us away from you, in this life or any other lives we may have. Remember that!”

“Orion,” she sniffles, and swipes at the ever-flowing tears on her face. “It’s fine. It’s okay. J-Just give me a few weeks to find a place to stay.”

“Maisy, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’d walk to the end of the earth for you!” Kai insists when she turns to him. “What makes you think we’re not okay about your… actually, our babies? In fact, I’d walk across the globe on razors for our babies. Twice!” He gives a forced chuckle, attempting to lighten the mood.

Maisy looks at the three of us with a lamenting look in her eyes for a lingering moment, and sighs sadly. That look just killed me. In her world, I didn’t see myself anymore. Or any of us.

“You got to let me go. I will never be able to love you as much as I will love my babies, and… I will never choose you. And it’s okay. Really.” The tears don’t stop falling from her eyes, but she doesn’t seem to notice anymore. “I’m not going to send Rosey’s children to a home. How could I?” Her voice fades to a whisper. “They belong with me. I owe that much to her.” She tries to straighten her posture, put on a strong front, but it’s futile. I can see her breaking apart in front of our eyes. I’m breaking apart on the inside. “I’m sorry, but I choose them over you. I… I guess you were right. I am a ‘fucking Slav.’ I betrayed you. I double-crossed you. If I wasn’t pregnant, I’d ask you to kill me for doing this to you. Because that would be easier than what I’m going to go through.” She continues to sob in earnest.

Logan cleans up the gel from her stomach and then wipes the tears from her cheeks. “Sweetheart, don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“Logan, you were my protectors all this time, and I thank you for that,” she says, “but now it’s time for me to protect my babies. And I’m forever grateful to you for keeping me alive long enough for me to see the purpose of my life.”

“A-Are you leaving us?” She’s made up her mind? This is not real.

She looks at me and the tears overtake her once more. Her face contorts painfully with remorse. “Orion,” she sniffles, “I promised Rosey I’d look after her four children. I’m also pregnant with twins. That’s six children altogether. No one wants to look after six children. And I will never ask you to do that.”

“Ask me? Are you crazy?” I bark at her. “You don’t get to ask me to look after you! That’s a given! You are part of us! Especially now that you’re carrying our twins! And so fucking what if you’re looking after your sister’s children? Yes, they’re Slavs. Yes, I hate the idea, and yes, I’m gonna have to get used to it, but fuck me if I’m gonna let you live anywhere else but with us!”

“Fuck yeah!” Kai roars.

“Sweetheart, did you really think you were gonna break up with us?” Logan asks.

Maisy’s eyes are locked on Logan. Maybe because he’s less intimidating than Kai and I are right now.

“You have to get it in your smart little head that we love you,” he continues, “and we’re here to stay.”

I stand up. “I’m not gonna dwell on what you were trying to do just now, because if I do, I’ll get mad again. Instead, I’ll say this: Maisy Roy, congratulations! You have all the makings of a great mother!” I pull her into an embrace.

“The best mother in the world!” Kai joins the hug, and Logan does too, leaning across the bed.

“I cannot wait to meet our babies,” Logan murmurs.

As if this was an invitation for her to resume crying, she completely lets loose and bawls in our arms, tears of both joy and relief.

I pull away and wipe her eyes. “Silly girl.” I shake my head and turn to Kai, who’s closest to me. “Kai, congratulations, you’re gonna be a dad!” I embrace him wholeheartedly.

“Thanks, man. Same to you! You’re gonna be a great dad!” he replies.

It’s stupid, but those words really do something to me. A dad. I’m gonna be a great dad. I turn to Logan on the other side of the bed. “Logan.”

He walks around it and we embrace each other.