“Yes?” He turns around and looks at me.
I’m still dressed in my sweatpants, so I doubt he’s having the same problem by looking at me.
“Um, would you be okay with me going into town to go shopping? I need more clothes if I’m going to be here any longer. It’s getting chilly in the evenings and I don’t have many warm clothes. I really want to get a few specific ingredients to add to the cupboards for making dinner as well. There’s a meal I’m craving right now. I did pack in my emergency credit card so I have money.”
My words tumble out of my mouth on top of each other, trying to get the whole question out before he cuts me off. I don’t have anything to worry about, though, because he stands still and listens to me until I’m finished.
I also need to send the letter to my brothers, but I worry that if I mention that, Marco will think I’m trying to be sneaky.
So, if he allows me out, I’ll just sneak the letter into my pocket and send it off. What Marco doesn’t know can’t hurt him.
He thinks for a minute. “Would you take one of my guards with you?”
I’m surprised at the question. I have a feeling it’s more of a command, but he’s putting it in a way that makes it seem like he’s simply requesting it.
“Sure.” I nod, relieved that I’ve managed to ask him for this favor. I’d feel better having someone show me around anyway because I’d probably get lost otherwise.
“All right. But you are essentially a guest of mine now. I will send you with money.”
As he speaks, he digs into his jacket pocket and takes out his wallet. I don’t miss his words, a “guest of his” now and not his captive?
I wonder if he realizes what he’s said.
“You don’t have to do that.” I try to wave him away, more than happy to spend the little bit of my own money that I still have, and not really eager to accept a gift from him yet.
“I want to.” He places a few bills in my hands.
“I’m going to shower and get some work done. Enjoy the shopping. Can I come over and join you for the dinner you want to make?”
“Of course! Please come back tonight. I promise not to burn the food.”
I smile at him. The more time he spends at the beach house with me, the less terrified I seem to be feeling.
It’s probably just because when he’s with me, I don’t find myself going down the rabbit hole of wondering whether he’s planning to have me killed or not.
I don’t give him his letter just yet, deciding I’ll do it after we have dinner.
***
This guard does not like speaking. I have tried to ask him a few questions, but he shut me down immediately, clearly not a big talker.
I keep asking random questions, and he continues to ignore me. Eventually, I give up and stare out of the window instead, trying to block out my loud thoughts.
My shopping trip is anything but relaxing.
I have never been the biggest fan of shopping, and when I’m being followed by a security guard, it makes it even less exciting. I am eager to get a few essentials, though, to help make my time in the beach house a little less crappy.
Somehow my anxiety is so high that I barely see where I am.
People walk past me, and I wonder if I look like the lost person that I am right now or if they just see me as one of them.
I manage to get my letter sent off to my brothers first without being caught, and then go into the grocery store.
I grab what I need for dinner, plus a few other items that will make it seem more like home. Next, I head into the first store that I see sells clothing, not too bothered about what I buy because no one is going to see me.
There are almost too many options in here. I’m not sure I want to deal with clothing shopping anymore.
But I also need to figure out a laundry solution if Marco is going to be keeping me at the beach house until who knows when.