Page 50 of Surprise Baby for the Mafia Boss

Coming out of the bathroom after my shower, I avoid looking at Emelia and drop down on the couch in my towel.

My final thought before falling asleep right there is of the baby.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Emelia

As soon as Luca is done with me, I let out the breath I had been holding on purpose.

I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of hearing me moan, but I was also worried that any sound I made would come out more like a cry.

Usually, having him fuck me like a feral caveman was high on my list of enjoyable times. But this was so very different. I could hear and feel the anger that he has for me, and it made the whole experience that much more hurtful.

It didn’t hurt physically. Maybe he was being careful for the baby’s sake. But it hurt emotionally to see his eyes so cold and feel him use me for nothing more than his own pleasure.

I had never been used like that. Even our first night here in Mexico. Sure, he thought he was using me and my body to please himself, but I wanted that–maybe more than he did. And having him inside of me, feeling his cock fill me up, had sent waves of pleasure through me.

Tonight, he hadn’t given me time to even think about wanting it. It had felt like fucking a complete stranger, and that makes me feel empty inside.

I rub my stomach and wonder if this is exactly what I deserve for lying to Luca.

I know that using Ginny’s death as an excuse to get closer to him was wrong. Luca and Ginny were so close that I knew if I just slipped in and took her place after her death, he’d have little choice but to trust me. But I had no idea how quickly things would move, or how horny he could be.

I should have been more careful about birth control. Maybe. Did I really think that bringing a baby into this family is what would suddenly make everything feel normal again?

But then…was it really so terrible to lock Luca into a family with me? I know our babies will come out beautiful and smart, with one hell of a work ethic.

We could be unstoppable, if only he could see that. But perhaps I overstepped the line, looking more towards joining the Baldini clan than what I was doing to Luca.

I slowly pull my pajamas back up and listen as he showers. I don’t dare move until I hear him come out of the bathroom. The thought of him sharing this bed with me now makes me feel nauseous, but he walks over to the couch and I’m thankful.

I lay there, looking up at the ceiling and listening to him snore, which confirms he’d been drinking a lot. I could smell the alcohol on him anyway.

I sit up in bed, checking the time. I’ve only been asleep for just under an hour, but I don’t feel like I can sleep now. I leave the light off, but grab my notebook and pen from my bag.

I need to try and get Luca to understand how I feel about him, and somehow, it’s not coming across when we speak. I’ve been thinking about the letter that Ginny left me, and I feel like that might be the best way to get Luca to believe what I’m telling him.

I write out my feelings:

Luca,

Where do I even begin?

Things have been pretty weird since we lost Ginny. It's like she was the glue holding us together, and now without her, everything's kind of falling apart. But with you, it feels different, a bit less crappy, you know?

I didn't expect to fall for you so hard, and I definitely didn't see us creating a tiny human together, at least not this soon. I get you're angry, and maybe you have a right to be, but Ginny would've said holding onto that anger is like punishing yourself. I'm not trying to mess with your head using Ginny. I just know you respected her advice, as I did. Her thoughts mean everything, to you, and I get why.

I'm struggling to make you see that this baby isn't some kind of trap. If you'd rather not deal with it, I can do this on my own. I'll disappear, go far away, and you won't have to see me or the baby again. Just keep an eye on my father, okay?

But I think it's cruel to deny you the chance to be the wonderful father that I know you can be. I've seen you with Enzo's little ones, and you're my idea of the perfect guy to help me raise our child. And this baby would be so lucky to call you dad.

I have no desire to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. And if you do not want this child, it would be better that you decide before it is born, so that it doesn’t have to feel the weight of being abandoned.

If you are interested in being a family–even if that just means co-parenting, please let me know. We need to talk this all out and formulate a plan for how we’re going to make it work.

It's your call, and now that this deal thing is over, if you want me to vanish, just say it. I'm here for you, Luca. I'd do anything for you.

I love you,

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