Page 36 of Secret Baby for the Mafia Don

The situation that we find ourselves in is not a good one.

I know that you know that, but I want you to be sure that I am aware of it as well. Luca Baldini, in particular, is an evil man and one who is willing to do almost anything to get his way.

I wouldn’t give a dog to Luca Baldini for safekeeping, let alone my betrothed and my son.

I won’t pretend that I have a grand plan in mind to get you out of the Baldini house. They have me firmly by the balls, which is precisely what they wanted.

I know that you want your freedom, but I cannot promise you that.

Even if the Baldinis and I come to an arrangement with regard to business dealings, you and Mateo will not be safe anywhere in the world from our enemies.

I admire Marco being able to keep you hidden away for so many years, but you should never make the mistake of thinking that it was an easy feat.

What I do know, is that we will need to work together to figure out a way to get you out of this mess first.

There is nothing else that we can do while you are still in the Baldini house.

They aren’t going to offer me a trade deal until you agree to let me meet my son. This means that the next move is up to you.

I have already told Luca and Enzo that I will not be coming to visit again until you say that you want to see me. The next move is yours.

If I never hear from you again, I will have to assume that you have been killed, or that you have decided to continue to work as a housekeeper for the Baldinis and let them raise Mateo as one of their own.

I cannot imagine you making this choice, but I respect your decision, whatever it might be.

I have clearly wounded you deeply, even if I don’t know what I did. If you decide that you can trust me to visit again, I would love to know what happened to make you hate me so much that you needed to go to Marco for help.

I cannot promise to love you, Kate. I am a bad man, and I cannot afford the luxury of love.

I can barely afford the luxury of commitment to your safety and that of my son. But you must know that I can be trusted to keep my family safe.

That is not such a bad bargain, if you think about it.

I hope that you enjoy the flowers. I believe that you like purple roses the best?

Ciao,

Elio

I feel moisture on my cheeks and I swipe at it. I didn’t realize I was crying until just now. I have many feelings about the contents of the letter and no idea what my next move should be.

I gaze out the window at the razor wire on the fence outside and breathe in the smell of the flowers in the vase next to me.

Their cloying scent fills the air around me, just like the way that Elio’s presence has filled up the spaces in my life ever since I was a child. I might wish that it wasn’t the case, but that doesn’t change anything.

Being angry about Elio being in my life is like being angry about the sun or the moon.

I stare sightlessly at the letter in my hand, the lines of Elio’s beautiful handwriting blurring together. I realize that I will have to let Elio come to see me again, even if I wish that I could just take Mateo’s hand and run away until the La Rosas and the Baldinis are just a bad memory.

I cannot afford to stop making my own plans to escape, but I need to make sure that I don’t cut off avenues of escape that might come from the outside world as well.

I fold up the letter and stuff it into the bedside table drawer. I take off my clothes and go into the bathroom to take my shower. I stare at myself in the mirror as the water warms up.

I know that I look almost like I did when Elio first met me. I hadn’t had anything to do but parent and workout after Marco placed me in hiding. I had gotten back into shape after I gave birth almost right away.

Would being attractive be enough to hold Elio’s interest if I let him get me out of the Baldini house? Could I use my beauty to bargain with him for a life that I truly want to live? Would his desire for me be enough to protect my son?

I wish that I knew. Being forced to count on my appearance was terrifying. What if I started to age and Elio grew tired of me? What would he do then?

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