Page 29 of Every Breath

“Toys aren’t going to make him my daddy. I hate him! I wish I had Daddy back!” DJ leapt from the chair and ran out of the dining room.

Before she went after DJ, Brandi looked at Mya, who sat as still as a statue.

Her son was sprawled on his bed, sobbing silently into his pillow. Brandi sat down next to him and stroked his soft hair.

“Honey, it’s okay. I know how you feel,” she whispered sympathetically.

DJ turned around with angry eyes. “No, you don’t! You love Rodney better than you love me. I know you do.”

She gasped. She could never love Rodney as much as she loved her babies! Where was this coming from? “Baby, why would you say something like that? You and Mya are the two most important people in my life. Nothing will ever change that.”

“Then why are you going to marry him? When I see you with him, it hurts me right here,” he said pointing to his heart.

Tears welled up in her eyes. She hadn’t realized how her engagement to Rodney affected her children. They seemed to like Rodney, so she never thought to ask them how they felt about her getting married to him. Come to think about it, the night she accepted Rodney’s proposal was still kind of murky in her head. That entire night was a complete blank.

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach, but she pushed those thoughts out of her mind to focus on her son.

“Do you feel this way about Rodney because you still miss your dad?”

“Dad was great. Rodney’s okay, but he’s not Dad.”

“Is it Rodney you have the problem with or just the idea of me being with someone other than your father?” She wiped the wet tracks from his cheeks. “What if I didn’t marry Rodney, but later I found someone else I wanted to marry?”

DJ seemed to be giving this question serious thought. “I dunno. On Friday, when I was at Ben’s I thought his dad was really neat. I liked him a lot. I guess I wouldn’t mind if you were with someone like him.”

Brandi froze. How was it that everything always came back to Mason somehow? How ironic that DJ would say this after her earlier speech to Mason about the kind of man she thought she might end up with.

“I see,” she said lamely.

“Anyway, I don’t think Rodney likes me and Mya that much.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, he smiles at us a lot around you, but when you’re not around, he treats us different.”

“Like how, baby?”

“When you’re not there, he looks at us like he wished we weren’t around and he doesn’t really talk to us.”

“I never knew. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was afraid you’d get mad and I didn’t want to spoil things for you.”

“What if I were to tell you that Rodney and I aren’t getting married, after all?”

“You’re breaking up with him because of me?” He had a hopeful look in his eyes. She didn’t want DJ to get it into his head that he could wield this much power in her decisions, although he certainly did.

“No. It wasn’t because of you or your sister. I think I have been having second thoughts for a while now. To tell the truth, I don’t know if I’ll find someone like your father again. Maybe I was meant to be by myself for the rest of my life.” She sighed.

After a few moments, she said, “So you liked Mr. Collins?”

“Yeah! I think he’s great. He played video games with us and he let us stay up really late while telling us ghost stories. He’s a lot of fun, just like Da… He’s a lot of fun,” he finished with a frown.

Brandi knew what DJ had been going to say and it struck a chord. From the moment she’d meet him, she’d been trying to figure out why he seemed so familiar, and now it suddenly struck her. He reminded her of Damon. It obviously wasn’t his appearance, but there was something in the way he looked at her and his mannerisms. It was almost eerie when she thought about it. Could that be why she was so attracted to him? Whatever it was, she figured the sooner she could get him out of her system, the sooner she would be able to move on with her life.

“Mom?”

“Yes, baby?”

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