Page 85 of Tempted

He nodded. “She was. In a short time, she came to mean so much to me. She believed in me and loved me. After a year of dating I asked her to marry mebut Lisa wanted to wait until she’d finished school. She had another year to go, but then she got pregnant and I wanted to do the right thing by her and get married. We had a small ceremony, with just a few of Lisa’s family and close friends. So we did. After a while my painting started to sell and I was making a name for myself. Everything was going great and then it all went to shit.”

“What happened?” Jasmine asked gently.

“Lisa was nearly at the end of her second trimester when she lost the baby.”

Jasmine’s hands flew to her mouth. “I’m so sorry. That must have been devastating.” This time she did grab his hand.

“Yes. At the time it was. But I figured we were young and there would be other opportunities to have children. Lisa took it a lot harder. She barely passed her classes that semester. I encouraged her to take some time off, but she didn’t want to. I supported that decision. We were pregnant again within a month of her graduating. She was ecstatic as was I. I wanted this baby more for her sake, although I was looking forward to fatherhood as well. And then she lost the baby. This time she was five months along. And then the next one. It crushed her every time she miscarried and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I tried to tell her it was okay if we didn’t have children, but she didn’t want to hear it. She wanted to try for another. I didn’t think it was a good idea, but I loved her so much and I wanted to make her happy. So we tried. When she told me she was pregnant again, I was happy, but cautious. I knew if she lost this one, it might actually affect her mental stability. I told her this had to be it because I couldn’t stand to see her unhappy. In retrospect, I probably should have kept my thoughts to myself because it’s probably what killed her.” Jason rested his head in his palm with a heavy sigh. His eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Jasmine’s heart ached for him. “Oh, Jason…that can’t be true.”

“Yes it is. If I hadn’t told her that, she might not have hid her condition from me.”

“Condition?”

“On one of her routine checkups the blood workrevealed there was some abnormal cell activity. I probably wouldn’t have found out about it if she hadn’t passed out one day. When I rushed her to the hospital, I found out she had an aggressive form of cervical cancer. She refused treatment because it meant losing the baby. I was so devastated and angry with her. I couldn’t even look at her for days because I wanted to shake her and convince her that children didn’t matter as long as I had her. She wouldn’t hear it. I believe if I would have stressed to her how much she meant to me, she wouldn’t have played Russian roulette with her life. Instead, I had to watch her get sicker by the day. But she was happy. Lisa really wanted this baby and as time passed it was clear she’d carry this one to term. That picture you found was the last one I’d taken of her before she was hospitalized. The cancer had spread to her organs and I knew she would die. I wanted to create a painting of her before she passed, so I’d work on it every night I came home. I didn’t get to finish it as you can see. She was about eight months along when she took a turn for the worse. The doctors told me they would have to induce labor. I just…I just thank God, she got to hold Julia before she died.”

“But then you lost, Julia too.”

“Yes. She had a weak heart. The doctors were surprised she’d lasted as long as she did. But I think she held on long enough for her Mom to see her. She may have lived if she’d gone full term but no one could be certain.” A tear slid down his face which he quickly wiped away.

Jasmine’s heart ached for him. She could feel his pain and it hurt her too. “Oh, God, Jason. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It took me a while to get over her death and I didn’t think I could ever love someone like I loved her. I was depressed for months and one day, I realized she wouldn’t want me to live that way, so I moved on with my life. I dated around but no one touched my heart like she did. Then I met you Jasmine. I couldn’t ignore the likeness, but that wasn’t the reason I approached you.”

“No?”

He shook her head. “You looked so sad. Call it the artist in me, but I wanted to capture it on canvas. Your friendship helped to heal me and little by little I fell in love with you. I was going through some of my old paintings in the attic recently and found that unfinished painting of Lisa. For the first time in years it didn’t hurt when I looked at it. But I thought it was a shame I never finished it. I took it down to my studio. I’d hidden all my pictures and packed away all of her things right after she died. I don’t want you to think I was trying to deceive you.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me about her?”

Jason shrugged. “Because I wanted to be a friend to you, and I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me. And there came a point when I knew I should tell you, but there never seemed to be a good time. I realized the likeness between the two of you might freak you out and I didn’t want you to think I used you to replace her. No one can replace her. Just like no one could replace you. You’re your own woman and I see you, not Lisa when I look at you. Please believe me.”

Oddly enough she did. But that only cleared up one thing. “You’re probably right. It might have made me wonder, but why did you withhold what you knew about Victor?”

“Because I blamed myself for Lisa and you’re already having a difficult pregnancy. I didn’t want anything to happen to you. I don’t know if I could forgive myself if something happened to you or the baby. I overstepped my bounds by taking that decision out of your hands and I sincerely apologize. I believed I was doing the right thing, but now I see the right thing would have been to be honest with you from the beginning. If you’d like, I’ll spend my last dime to help you get Star back.”

Her heart ached for him. “Victor is going to help me with that.”

He lowered his lids. “I see. Are…are you going back to him?”

She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. Jasmine wasn’t even sure how she felt for Victor. There were just too many variables involved. It was probably best to stay focused on getting her child back and having a safe pregnancy. That she would be working with Victor would be enough. But it could never go beyond that. She’d been through too much to be hurt again. “No. We’ll be working on my case is all.”

Jason lifted his head again and looked her straight in the eyes. “And what about us?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know, Jason.” One thing Jasmine did know was the upcoming months were going to be complicated.

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