Page 32 of Laid Bear

Heath walked over to them. “It is something if it’s bothering you and causing this disconnect between us. Everything was perfect these past weeks, but the past few days, you’ve been pulling away from us. Don’t you think we deserve to know what’s going on?”

Gavin joined them, standing on the other side of Logan. “Yes. We love you, Zora. Of course, whatever it is that’s on your mind is important to us.”

A gasp tumbled from her luscious lips, her eyes widening as her gaze swept across Logan’s and his cousins’ faces. “Y-you love me?”

Logan furrowed his brows together. He was a fan of action rather than words, but he knew enough about women to realize Zora needed that vocal confirmation. “Of course we do,” he growled. “We loved you from the moment we found you.” He lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. “I love you with all my heart.”

Her eyes watered as they locked with his. “You mean it, don’t you?”

Heath, not one to be left out, took hold of Zora’s arm and gently pulled her from Logan’s grasp. “These words aren’t spoken lightly, Zora. We love you. You’re our onida, our mate and to us that means forever. If we don’t say it often, it’s because what we feel for you goes beyond just a simple word. What we have is so fierce and so deep, once we claimed you, you bonded to us. We are all one. And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit it too. Did you think once our time together at our little getaway was through, we’d be over?”

“I wasn’t sure what to think,” she answered. “I really didn’t want to think beyond these past weeks with you because for once, I wanted to let go and enjoy being free.”

“So how do you feel now, Zora?” Gavin asked softly.

“I…”

She wanted to say the words but she couldn’t get them out. The last time she’d told a man she loved him, he’d used it as a weapon. Deep down she knew her bears’ feelings were sincere, but the fear still ran deep.

“Zora, do you trust us?” Heath gently demanded.

Even though fear kept her from saying the thing she most wanted to, she was able to nod. She did trust them and knew they wouldn’t hurt her the way Dale had. They were right, she at least owed them some explanation as to why she’d grown distant toward them the past couple days. It wasn’t to hurt them, it was a defense mechanism for her.

With a heavy sigh, she pulled away from the comfort of Heath’s arms. “I think you guys need to have a seat.” She gestured to the kitchen table.

Once her men, she chuckled at how easily that phrased popped in her mind, were seated, she sat down too. Zora took a moment to figure out where to begin. Thankfully Gavin, Logan and Heath were patient and remained silent, not pressing her until she was ready to speak.

She hesitated a moment to take a deep breath. “I’ve told you guys about my childhood, right?”

Each man nodded silently and then waited for her to continue.

“My parents weren’t the affectionate types. I don’t ever remember being held or comforted by them or even receiving a kind word when I did something right. I can’t even recall them being affectionate with each other. It’s like there was a huge void in our family. Our house was absent of life. I can’t quite put it into words, but something was definitely missing. I felt it from the time I realized how much I needed their love. So that was on top of them being extremely strict with me. Besides that, I’d get the feeling my father hated me. He’d stare at me sometimes when he didn’t think I noticed, and there was such dislike in that look, I would stay in my room when I could.

“They were glad to see the back of me when I went off to school. As you can imagine, I basically lost my mind with all the freedom I suddenly had. I was away from my parents’ censure and I drank and experimented with drugs, and…I’m not proud to admit it, but basically I hooked up with a lot of different guys because that kind of attention was new to me. And when I say hook up, I don’t necessarily mean going all the way, but I did plenty of other things with these men and a couple of women. It wasn’t until I had a one-night stand with a guy who battered my reputation that I realized those guys didn’t care about me. They were just using me. I’d nearly thrown away a great opportunity I’d been given because I was trying to make up for all the things I’d missed out on when I was in high school.” She paused to catch her breath and to gauge their reaction to what she’d just revealed.

Zora was relieved to see the patience and compassion in their eyes, no judgment whatsoever and she appreciated that. It gave her the fortitude to continue.

“This does have a point.” She laughed nervously.

Gavin gave her a reassuring smile. “Take your time, sweetheart. Whatever happened in your past is exactly that, the past. Anything you tell us won’t be held against you.”

It felt good to know she could share her darkest secrets with them. Zora returned a brief smile of her own. “Thank you. Anyway, I started to get my act together. I was going to my classes and seeing tutors to catch up on everything I’d fallen behind on. I was on track once again and that’s when I met Dale. After my episode with so many random guys, I was a little hesitant to give him a chance. He had a reputation for throwing great parties and being a ladies’ man, so of course I handled his advances with caution. I think my initial rejection of him was probably what made him pursue me. In hindsight, I believe if I had given in to him the first time he asked me out on a date, he’d have been done with me right away. But I made him work for it. A good looking guy with his money and connections wasn’t used to that.

“One thing I can say for sure, Dale was definitely a charmer. He wore me down after several weeks and I’m not going to lie, I was flattered by his attention. Here was a guy who seemed to have it all together, and he wanted to date me. He’d tell me I was beautiful and say the things no man had ever told me before. I started to develop feelings for him so I agreed to go out with him. Almost immediately, we began to date exclusively. In the beginning, things were great. He would wine and dine me, shower me with gifts and compliments. And I lapped it all up. I was so starved for love and I thought that’s what he was giving me, so of course, I believed I loved him too. I’m not exactly sure when, but things began to change. It happened subtly at first, with little digs about what I wore and about my appearance. Dale subtly implied I wasn’t worthy of him and I was lucky he’d lowered himself to even date me.”

“That son of a bitch!” Logan interrupted with a pound of his fist to the table.

Zora jumped at the sudden movement.

“Sorry,” Logan mumbled.

“It’s okay,” she returned with a sigh. Zora absently twirled one of her locks around her finger as she continued. “It wasn’t long before I discovered Dale was cheating, but when I tried to break it off with him, he made it seem like I was the one to blame. By this time, I was so conditioned by him to believe everything he told me about myself. After all, my own parents didn’t love me. That was something he threw in my face, by the way, one of the secrets I’d shared with him when I believed I could trust him.” She paused, closing her eyes against the pain that resurfaced when she remembered the cruelty of his words.

Gavin reached across the table and gave her hand a squeeze. Heath took the other one and Logan stroked the back of her arm. She smiled at them in turn, thankful for their support.

“Over the next year he made me feel like I was nothing and I would never get any better. After a while, I couldn’t take anymore. I tried to break things off with him again. That’s when Dale got physical. I was so ashamed at first, I blamed myself. I had no one to tell because I was no longer in contact with the few friends I’d managed to make in college. Dale had made sure of that. He’d isolated me from everyone. I didn’t feel comfortable going to any of my professors or the authorities. My academic career was almost caput anyway. I was on academic probation for the second time and I knew I couldn’t turn to my parents either. Besides, Dale had family connections and money. No one would believe me if I told them that he abused me. I even contemplated suicide for a while, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“I think my moment of clarity came when I walked in on Dale having sex with another woman and he laughed at me. He told me I was pathetic and to get out until he was ready to talk to me again. He and the girl treated me as if I were less than nothing. He’d cheated before, but I’d never caught him in the act so blatantly. This time around, something in me just snapped. I literally couldn’t take it anymore. I told him we were done for good. He stopped laughing at me then, in fact his demeanor changed with a snap and he got really nasty. I walked away, but he followed me. When he tried to grab me, for the first time I fought back. I pushed him away with all my might and ran. I didn’t look back.

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