Page 55 of Burned

“What do you think?” she whispered before bringing her knee in contact with his groin as hard as she could and quickly backed away.

Terrell fell to his knees holding his crotch. “God Damn Motherfucking Shit! You fucking crazy ass bitch.”

Sadie smirked. “No need to thank me, Terrell. You had it coming.” It was the second and hopefully last time she ever got physical with anyone but Sadie figured breaking her nonviolence rule that time would be forgiven. She walked to the car and got in. Damn, she had to pee.

Sadie drove to the closest gas station to relieve herself as Lily sat in the car not speaking, just staring out the window. Once she came out of the gas station with a bagful of beef jerky and a large bag of peanut M&M’s thanks to the sudden cravings she was starting to have, she got back into the car to find her sister in tears.

She placed her bag of goodies at her feet and reached across the seat and wrapped her good arm around her sister. “It’s okay sweetie. It will be okay. I’m here for you.”

The sound of Sadie’s soothing assurance must have set Lily off because she cried even louder and harder, her entire body shaking. Sadie rocked her back and forth, as she stroked her hair.

“I’m the big sister here. I’m the one who should be taking care of you, not the other way around.”

“Stop that. We’re sisters. We look out for each other. These last several weeks have made me realize a strength within me I didn’t know I had. We’re all vulnerable at one point, but sometimes we have to let down our defenses a little to let others in. You’ve always been a bit cold and standoffish to everyone except me, Daisy, Rose, and Thorn and I never really understood why. I never knew why you were so ultra-protective of us all. I sometimes thought you were taking the big sister thing too far. But you had a reason didn’t you?”

Lily wiped away a stray tear. “I didn’t want what happened to me to happen to you guys. But I failed all of you. She ended up hurting them too, hurting you, I mean not in the way it happened to me but…”

“You don’t have to say anymore.”

Lily pulled away from Sadie with a sniff. “Yes, I do. I think you deserve to know. Daisy knows only because…well, I swore her to secrecy.”

“Tell me.”

Sadie patiently waited for her sister to get herself together. It seemed as if several minutes passed before Lily was ready to talk.

“I was sexually assaulted. You know Jackie always had some man around after Daddy died. It was almost like she couldn’t be alone, ya know? I’d make sure you girls were all in bed because I didn’t want you all to be around the drinking, smoking, and cursing. One night, everyone was sleeping, Jackie’s friend, Barry….I’ll never forget him… he came upstairs when I was coming out the bathroom. I was just getting out of the shower and I had on my robe, with nothing underneath. I was going to the bedroom, and he stopped me. At first, the talk was innocent, about how I was doing in school and stupid stuff like that. Even though his questions seemed innocent at first, I still felt a little uncomfortable. I could feel his eyes all over my body and I couldn’t wait to get away from him. I remember going to my room and just being uneasy after that exchange. Then he started coming around all the time. I didn’t understand why he made me so uneasy, but I made a point to stay out of his way. One day you guys were in the basement playing, he came over, and he sent Jackie to the store to get something. He cornered me in the kitchen, pinned my body against the counter with his, my back to his front. Then he ground his erection against my rear and he cupped my breasts and squeezed them really hard. He told me if I told my mother she wouldn’t believe me. At that time, I still believed that maybe there was a chance Jackie would do right by me as her daughter. When I told her she slapped me so hard, she split my lip. She yelled and called me a liar. She said I was aslut and I probably led Barry on. She must have told Barry, because the next time he managed to get me alone, he taunted me and said he told me so. He grabbed me by the neck and squeezed my windpipe. I thought I would die. I wished I died as he held me in this chokehold and touched me all over. He even….” Silent tears ran down Lily’s face as she paused.

Sadie’s heart broke with each work Lily spoke. It hurt her to know her sister had gone through this. She took Lily’s hand in hers. “You don’t have to say anymore.”

“I need to get this out. I only told Daisy about what she saw, I’ve never really…put all this in words.”

It was no wonder her sister seemed to be wound so tight at times. Sadie didn’t know how her life would have been shaped had she experienced anything so horrific. “Take your time sweetie.”

Jackie had a party one night. She made us clean the house and get it ready for her guests and I was in charge of feeding everyone and getting you girls into bed. I didn’t want you girls to be disturbed by the rowdiness so, I stole some brandy from the liquor cabinet and put a little of it in your hot chocolates, so you’d all sleep through the night and not wake up. I know that sounds crazy, but sometimes I felt I had to take extreme measures to protect the three of you. I made sure you were all asleep and I locked the bedroom doors so no one would get in. Daisy and I shared a room as you remember. I distinctly remember locking the door before I went to bed, I’m almost positive I did, but when I woke up there were two men in the room, and both of them were on either side of my bed, touching me and laughing about it. One of them was Barry. I didn’t know who the other guy was. I tried to scream but Barry covered my mouth and told me, I’d been coming on to him for weeks. I could tell they were both drunk by the smell of their breaths. They told me if I said a word, maybe my sister would be more cooperative. So I was quiet as they touched me and put their hands and mouths where it had no business being on a thirteen-year-old. They made me touch them. And kiss them, and Barry got on top of me….It was disgusting. He was about to penetrate me when Daisy woke up screaming. I don’t know if it was the noise from downstairs or the movement in our bedroom. It could have been that I didn’t put enough brandy in her cocoa or maybe she just felt my distress. I don’t know which it was, but I think it kind of scared them. She’s small, but you know how fierce she can be. She was out of the bed, and grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on and started swinging. That’s when I started screaming. It must have gotten the attention of Jackie’s company because she came into the room asking us what the hell was going on. She took one look at our state of undress and gave me such a look. I knew I’d never forget it. She didn’t even say anything to Barry and his friend. She just said, ‘go back to bed girls’ and then to Barry, to come back downstairs and spend sometime with the adults. The next day she called me into her bedroom and screamed at me, calling me all kinds of names, I don’t want to repeat. When I tried to defend myself, she spat in my face and told me to get out of her sight. You would think that being molested and nearly raped would be the most devastating thing a girl could ever experience. But it wasn’t. Knowing that the person who’s supposed to look out for you thinks you’re a piece of shit and wished that you were never born, is far worse.” Lily burst into another round of tears.

* * *

“I thought I’d order takeout tonight since I’m really not up to cooking, is that okay with you, honey?”

“That’s fine, Daddy.” Carys fingered the bandages on her wrists, in an absent gesture, almost as if she didn’t know they were there. Rhys flinched at the action because they were a painful reminder of how close he’d come to losing her.

Though this was only her second day back home, they’d talked a lot since she’d been admitted to the hospital. He’d visited her every day and each time, he assured her of his love for her and how important she was in his life.

He’d taken time off at work letting his TA’s take over his classes while he dealt with his daughter. It was good to reconnect with her again. He never realized how far they had drifted apart since she’d become a teenager. Carys had her first therapy session that afternoon and the two of them would go to the next session together, alternating the schedule by having Carys go by herself. That way she could share with the psychologist what she didn’t feel comfortable saying around Rhys. And every other session they’d go together so they could both get whatever they needed to say to each other off their chests.

Rhys eyed his daughter who still looked a little pale and worn out, but at least she didn’t seem as fragile as she had been in the hospital bed.

“That’s fine with me, Daddy. Can we get the combination fried rice?”

“Sure, princess.”

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“There’s a white elephant in the room.”

“Oh?”

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