Ten
Sam
“Why so down, Sammy?”
I groaned internally and after a deep breath looked up at Gordon.
He stood at the corner of my desk, staring down at me with a pantomime of concern on his face.
He watched me, seeming to study my every move, or lack thereof, but I tried to keep my outward expression light. I couldn’t recall ever having Gordon ask me such a question, and I cursed the fact that he’d decided to now.
I was in no mood to talk to Gordon or anyone else. I could barely keep myself from crying as it was, and I’d been on the verge of tears at least ten hours per day in the week since I’d made an utter fool of myself—since Adrian had ripped out my heart.
I couldn’t tell Gordon that, so I smiled as bright as I could muster and then let out a deep sigh.
“It’s time for organizing the files for the quarter,” I said, gesturing toward the stacks of paper that were gathered around my desk.
“Already?” he said, his face twisted with disgust.
“Yeah, already,” I said, keeping my voice level.
Impressive, or at least I thought so. Inside, I was roiling with hurt and anger, and even the smallest things threatened to set me off. Whatever skill I had in dealing with Gordon was being put to the test.
Quarterly paperwork was a pain in the ass and a job that had somehow fallen on me. Gordon had never helped, and, in fact, he usually found an excuse to be far, far away during that time. I hoped today would be no different, but Gordon didn’t seem inclined to move.
“Yeah,” I said. “So… I guess I should get back to it.”
I reached for the next box and began sifting through it, making it a point not to look at Gordon.
A point he ignored.
He didn’t move, and after several seconds I looked at him again.
“Is there something I can help you with, Gordon?” I asked, again trying to keep my voice light.
He stared at me, seeming to consider something, and then he shook his head. “No. You just don’t seem yourself. I want you to know…” He trailed off, giving me a significant look. “If you need someone,” he said.
I wanted to gag or roll my eyes, but instead I kept calm and nodded. “Thanks, Gordon,” I said, pleased with myself when I didn’t let my annoyance show in my words.
“No thanks are necessary, Sam. We’re a team. And you know, if you need guidance or mentorship, I’m here for you,” he said.
I looked at him, genuine surprise on my face I was sure. I tried to recover quickly and said, “Thank you. Again. That’s very generous of you. Now if you’ll…” I lifted the file I was holding, and after another moment, he nodded and then turned to leave.
“I’ll try to help out with that later,” he called as he all but scurried out of the office.
“Yeah, I won’t hold my breath,” I mumbled.
I threw myself into organizing the files, my mind desperate for some distraction.
At least Gordon had been useful in one respect. Our incredibly odd conversation gave me something that wasn’t Adrian to puzzle over, and I was grateful.
Gordon only went out of his way to seek me out when he needed help, usually with paperwork. But in the years we’d worked together, he’d never offered mentorship and certainly not a shoulder to cry on if I needed one.
Maybe I’d missed the signs and Gordon was secretly madly in love with me.
I chuckled out loud at the thought.
I didn’t rise to Gordon’s attention, and though I thought the navy-blue blouse I wore looked great against my skin and flattered my shape, I doubted it had sparked Gordon’s need to take a second look.