Page 27 of Redeem

Maybe it really could be that simple.

I turned on the truck and drove away.

Twelve

Ciprian

I didn’t risk speaking to her, knew that doing so was probably not a smart move.

Besides, there was little else to say.

I had told her the truth, at least a part of it, but I still felt uneasy. And I knew why.

This had been my chance, the one where I could tell her exactly the reason I was there.

I hadn’t taken it.

I’d been too weak, too selfish and cowardly.

I told myself it was for her benefit. I didn’t think she was even aware of that, but when I looked at her, saw the sadness in her eyes, I felt compelled to do what I could to take it away, even if she wouldn’t want me to.

I didn’t have it in me to break the hope that I saw in her expression, couldn’t be the one to wipe it out of her eyes. Not again.

I ignored the fact that my new stance was of great personal benefit.

Because as much as I didn’t want to break her hope, I didn’t want to break my own.

I had been honest when I told her that I felt at peace with her. And I wanted more of that more than anything, including telling her the full truth.

Which was so fucked up, one of the most fucked-up things I had ever done, something I’d never say lightly.

I had managed to do the very thing I had said I wouldn’t. I had brought her more pain. But I could help her. Would help her.

And keep my hands to myself.

“I don’t understand the expression on your face right now,” she said.

We were quickly approaching her house, and I turned from where I had been staring out the window to look at her. She returned the look and then looked back to the road.

“What expression?” I asked.

“The one on your face,” she replied, a welcome humor lifting her voice.

“I was just thinking,” I said, shrugging.

“Obviously. About what?”

“You,” I said, looking at her again.

A clouded expression crossed her face, but I couldn’t interpret it.

“Good things?” she asked a moment later.

“No, not really,” I replied.

She laughed. “Guess I should believe you when you say you’re honest.”

“I try to be.”

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