Page 12 of Run

Desire, a need for her that was always there, simmering in the background no matter how much time passed, how many women I fucked, futile attempts to make my body forget her.

Anger at her having left, anger at her having ended up in such a shithole.

Relief. Deep, soul-soothing relief.

I had never entertained the possibility that she was dead. I couldn’t think it, wouldn’t even let my mind go there. Which was rare for me. Optimism had never been one of my more prominent characteristics, but thinking of the world without her was just too much for even me to take on.

However, I hadn’t envisioned she would end up in a place like this.

In my head, I’d pictured Gia running off to blend in with the real world, maybe going to college or something, settling down with a middle-management type and having kids. That was hard to think about, Gia building a life with someone else. But I told myself I’d made peace with it. Could accept it.

Another lie, but one that was plausible, as was the life I’d imagined for her.

But never had I thought she’d end up like this, in some shitty bar serving drinks to assholes and wannabes with her tits hanging out. Seeing her tonight had been awful, but thinking about all the nights before, the leering eyes and hands that had touched her drove me near insane with anger.

I let my gaze drop to her chest, followed the trail of the streetlight that glowed against her skin, letting my eyes caress the rise and dip of her breast, the deep line of her cleavage until it hit the red lace of her top.

First chance I got, I was going to burn that fucking thing.

Just looking at it left me no choice other than to think about what it covered, and I knew every man in that bar had thought the same thing. Had looked at her even though she was mine.

“Why are you scowling?” she asked impatiently.

The sound of her voice had me looking up again, but I quickly wiped all expression off my face. I knew my efforts would be pointless. She’d always read me better than anyone, and in the face of something like thinking of all those eyes watching her, I had no hope of hiding my thoughts.

Still, pride dictated I try.

“What could I have to scowl about?” I asked, my voice light, but the smile on my face one I knew lacked all humor.

She flinched, had the decency to look embarrassed, but only for a moment. “Don’t bullshit me, Vincent.”

When she spoke, her voice was wary in a way I’d never heard, so unlike the younger version of herself. My mind instantly wondered what had happened to put that sound in her voice, but the answer was clear. She’d been out here alone without me or anyone who cared for her to protect her. She appeared mostly unscathed, but that distance, the long years alone had taken its toll.

Sympathy, worry, both came up instantly, and just as quickly I pushed them down. She didn’t deserve either, not from me, and I couldn’t let myself forget that.

“Pretty hard fall, huh, Gia?” I asked, nodding toward the dilapidated building. Had she stayed home there was no way she’d be in a place like this. Pointing that out might have been low, but I’d earned it.

She looked even more haughty than she had before, shifted so that she was facing me directly, her eyes bright with indignation.

“Is it a fall? Or is it freedom? Do you even understand the difference?” she asked.

Her words transported me back all those years to the many conversations we had had. Gia had always been adamant that we should go and never look back. I’d tried to tell her that wasn’t an option, but she never listened to me, always pushed the idea. Eventually, she got tired of waiting.

“This is what you call it? Freedom?” I asked, my voice giving away some of the hurt I so desperately wanted to hide. Then I went quiet and looked around the disgusting alley we were standing in. It stank and was filled with trash, and from the expression on Giovanna’s face, she got my point well enough.

“I don’t have to do anyone else’s bidding, Vincent. Live by their rules,” she said, like that explained it all, like it made everything okay.

In that moment anger took over relief. “You’re going to do mine now.”

Her eyes widened, and she stared at me with an expression that was half disgust, half fear.

Somewhere deep inside, that fear stabbed at me. I never wanted her to be afraid of me, hadn’t been able to imagine a scenario where she would be.

But she was now.

I pondered that. Tried to convince myself that maybe the fear was a good thing. That it would make it more likely that she would do as she was told. I suspected it wouldn’t. Giovanna had always chaffed against rules, had a nearly unavoidable need to not follow orders, and I didn’t think that had changed. In the next moment, she confirmed as much.

She stood a little taller, tilted her chin, her eyes blazing.

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