Page 69 of Stay with Me

“I’m down. That way you can tell me how you got into torturing, excuse me. Got into being a yoga instructor,” I tease. “Just allow my brain to reconnect with my body.”

Saga laughs and tosses her towel at me. I knock it away and roll my eyes at her. She knows that workout kicked her ass too. She can put on that act all she wants. I see her.

“Oh, that’s an easy one. I used to have really bad panic attacks when my mother first remarried. I had to find something to help me out.

“The anxiety was taking over my life. I started yoga one summer, and it changed my life. It’s been my path ever since,” she says.

I sit up and look at her. I dare to begin to have hope for my situation. As I said, I haven’t thought about anything else while here. In the past, I have been introduced to mediation.

It’s actually been the one thing to last the longest and have the most effect before I threw the towel in because the attacks returned. I never thought about trying yoga. It might work.

“Do you have an opening for a new client?” I ask.

Isha gives me a bright smile and knowing look. I shrug as my hope blooms. It’s worth a try. I’ve done everything else.

“Does this time work for you? I’ll book you in three times a week.”

“Perfect. I’ll be here,” I reply with a smile of my own.

Already it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. First, I’ll deal with the root of my problem and take my power back. Then I’ll see if Knight is right for me.

I’ll admit, I do feel a lot calmer. Saga has mentioned a friend of hers she thinks might be better suited as my therapist. Things might just be looking up for me.

“Lunch is on me. Let’s get cleaned up,” I say.

* * *

Knight

I love the looks of joy in my nephews’ eyes as Bishop and I carry them through this street fair. I used to love these things when I was little. I can only imagine what must be going on in their heads.

This isn’t how I thought I’d spend my day, but I’m not complaining. I had gone to my brother’s house to hang with him and my nephews. However, when I arrived, he and Dwayne were getting the kids ready for a day out.

I decided to tag along because I didn’t have shit else to do. I haven’t stopped smiling all day. Dwayne’s little ones are adorable. It isn’t a hardship to spend my day with them or my nephews.

I’m enjoying myself more than I thought I would. Dwayne and Bishop seem to be happy to be here with their little ones. I’ll admit to myself that I’m a little envious.

We find a picnic table to sit at as Dwayne takes his crew to the concession stands. I snicker to myself. He’s going to take them back to their mom on a sugar rush, if not with tummy aches. My cousin can be petty as ever.

Sure, he gets to spoil his kids in the process, but I know the way his mind works. If Abby calls him in the morning bitching that she got puked on, he’s going to be wearing a grin.

I can’t blame him for it, but he’s going to have to let it go soon. Kids pick up on a lot. I shake my thoughts away as Bishop’s voice grabs my attention.

“You would make a great dad,” he says.

I turn to him, and he looks me in the eyes with a smile on his face. Glancing down at my nephew Carson in my arms, I can’t help wondering what babies with Rem would look like. Will my kids take after me as much as my brother’s sons have taken after him or will Rem’s genes be stronger than Saga’s.

I wouldn’t care either way. I’d love them no matter what. Shrugging the thought off, I begin to shake my head at my brother’s words.

“Nah, I don’t know about that.”

“Why not? Not something you want or not something you’ve allowed yourself to think about?”

I want to blurt out that I don’t want children if they’re not with the only woman I’ve ever truly cared about. However, I’m not ready to open that bag of worms with my brother. After hearing my mom has been sticking her nose in my business, I’m reluctant to talk about Rem with my family.

I shrug. “A little of both, I guess.”

“Best thing to ever happen to me. I love my boys. We both want more.

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