Page 53 of Stay with Me

I roll my eyes. “What do you know about my type?”

“I know more than you think.”

“Mom, I went to lunch with Derrick and had dinner with Sheldon. It’s no big deal.”

“Oh, you’re going to ignore the fact that you’re not interested in either of them. Girl, don’t allow your father to pressure you into something you don’t want.”

Wow. I must really be batting a thousand. My mother is usually always on the same page as my father.

Even if she’s not, she’s not going to say much about it. This has to be something that’s really bothering her. I chew on my lip as I think this over.

“Things didn’t work out with Derrick, but Sheldon is a nice guy,” I mutter.

She sits back in her seat and laughs. I pout like I’m still a teenager and fold my arms across my chest. She continues to laugh at me as if I’ve told the funniest joke in the world.

“I’m your mother. I know you better than you know yourself. Reminisce, the worst thing you can do is settle. You will spend the rest of your life craving what you truly desire and gave up.

“I don’t want that for you. You deserve happiness as much as your sister and brother. That will only happen when you’re honest with yourself.”

I sigh and rub my hands on my pants. I think her words over. Sheldon is safe. Our dates were nice enough, but my heart still wants Knight.

Something about him offering to be friends has drawn me in. I’ve been dodging Sheldon’s calls since the day I hung out at Saga’s and spilled my guts.

It wasn’t just my confusion. It was getting to hang out with Knight around family. He’s like a magnet I can’t pull myself away from.

“I don’t know what to do, mom. I want to feel safe in my relationship. I want to able to move forward in my life. I’ve tried so many different therapists, but none of them work. I’m starting to think this is something no one else can help me fix.

“I’m either going to dig deep and fix myself or this is my life. I’m going to settle or be alone because I’m terrified of what I really want.”

“Reminisce, sweetheart, your grandmother once told me something that stuck with me. When you want something with your whole heart, you fight for it. You do it afraid if you have to. Love will always help you to overcome fear, my baby.”

I nod my head not able to form the words to express my mixed-up emotions. For now, I can’t give anyone my all until I figure out what I lost along the way.

I’m beginning to see that. While I desire love and a family of my own, I still have healing to do. Knight hasn’t displayed any of the danger I used to associate with him.

I get the feeling my fear has become unfounded. This leave of his means more. Something important may have happened during our time apart.

“You’re right, mom. I need to deal with my shit.”

“I guess that’s a way to put it.”

We both laugh. My heart feels a little lighter. I have been holding Knight at arm’s length, when all my reasons for doing so hold no weight.

Maybe it’s time I take a step back and really look at why.

CHAPTER 21

A Friendly Game

Reminisce

Someone hates me because this isn’t fair. Knight, his brothers, and a few cousins have all decided to play a game of touch football. Shirtless.

There is so much fine around me, I’m fighting not to fan myself. I take a sip of my lemonade to cool down as I watch Knight’s back flex. He rolls his shoulders and runs a hand through his damp hair.

I bite my lip as I think of the last time I had my hands in his hair. As if knowing that my eyes are on him, he turns to look over his shoulder at me. A sexy grin turns up his lips.

Ugh, friends my ass.

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