Page 80 of Stay with Me

Saga wanted to wait a year before trying, but once we started and nothing happened, we both got concerned. I’ve been telling her it’s fine, but deep down, I’m worried.

What if my years of partying and fucking around have come back to haunt me? My stomach twists each month when we find out we haven’t made a baby. It’s getting harder each month.

“Saga, baby. I need you to talk to me. What’s going on?”

She chews on a piece of toast and bacon, then places the plate down on the nightstand. I watch her every move. Like she’s a bird about to take flight.

My stomach churns, and I feel like I’ll be the one to get sick. How have I hurt her? I’m dying to know what I’ve done.

Her words have been ringing in my head all night. You hurt me. How?

“You tell me what’s going on. How does Fiona know we’re having trouble having a baby?” she snaps at me.

I jerk my head back. I have no idea what she’s talking about. Fiona is a singer-song writer the label wanted me to work with for this project. I’m well aware that Saga hasn’t been a fan of hers, but my hands have been tied.

Fiona is something the label wants. She’s decent enough so I haven’t bitched about it, but it’s not like we need her. I know what my fans like.

If I had it my way, I would have released her the moment she made Saga uncomfortable. I’m not interested, never have been. Saga’s not the jealous type, so if she feels something is off, I trust her.

“Baby, what are you talking about?” I say with a frown on my face.

“How does a woman who’s not my family or a friend know we’re having trouble having a baby when I haven’t told a soul? Not even my closest friend or my sister. How does she have intimate facts about our relationship?

“Facts she’d have to get from you. Are you fucking her and pillow talking?” She looks back at me searching my face with pleading eyes.

I stand and place my hands on my hips. Looking down at my wife, I try to piece together what she’s saying to me. The more her words sink in, the more pissed I get.

“Saga, I have no clue what the hell you’re talking about. Do you even understand how much I fucking love you? I don’t have a bone in my body that would allow me to hurt you.

“I’ve been holding you in my arms for months as we go through this. I’ve seen and felt your pain. Not only would I never share that with another woman, but I would also never cheat on you. I’d take my own life before I could ever,” I say.

She swallows hard and blinks a few times, looking down into her lap with a confused expression. I release my hair from its bun to run my hand through it, wanting to tug it from my scalp. This is the last thing I thought she would say this morning.

“Then how does she know?” she whispers.

“Fuck if I know. Babe, where is this coming from?”

I sit back down on the bed and pull her into my arms, kissing her forehead. I relax a little as she comes to me and settles into my arms. I can fix this. I can get us back to us.

She takes a deep breath. “Yesterday, she walked up on me and started talking about how I need to give you some space. We would have another baby once you’re able to focus on music and not trying to have a baby. How does she know our business, Bishop? Why was she talking to me like you’ve been pillow talking with her?

“What made her bold enough to think any of that was her place to do? She needs to go. That shit made me so uncomfortable in my own home.”

“Wait, what? Baby, look at me.”

She looks into my eyes. I cup her face and kiss her soft lips. I’m trying so hard to keep my shit together. This is why I didn’t want to do another album.

The music has been there, but I know the drama that the business brings. We’ve been in such a good place. I blame this all on me. I’ve invited this shit into our lives.

“I love you in ways that shouldn’t be possible. My love for you runs so deep I breathe it. I don’t know what’s going on or how she knows, but I swear she didn’t find out from my lips.

“What we say to each other is always between us. I’m going to get to the bottom of this and she’s gone one way or the other. I don’t need anyone trying to come between us. Especially not now. Why didn’t you come to me?”

She draws in a deep breath and swipes at her tears. I go to thumb the rest away for her. Even with a tear-soaked face she’s the most gorgeous woman in the world to me.

“I was so angry with you, and there were so many people here for you to record. I needed to clear my head before we spoke, so I went to see Rem. I … I didn’t believe you would do something like that, but it didn’t make sense. How could she know without you telling her?” she sobs.

“Shh, baby, I’ll take care of it.”

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