Page 60 of Selfless

“I don’t cook, ma’am.” he jokes, and everyone laughs, breaking the awkward silence.

“How do you know my girls?” she asks, and I watch Becca smile proudly that she refers to her as one of her girls.

“I have known Becca and Ryder for twelve years now. I’ve worked for the O’Kane’s since I was thirty,” he states.

I take another bite of my food, looking over at him. I know nothing about Milton except that he drives Ryder around and can fly a plane.

“Really?” my mother asks with interest.

He nods. “Timothy, Ryder’s father, hired me out of a favor.” He takes a quick sip of his water. “And what was supposed to be temporary became permanent.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

RYDER

Becca and Ashlyn are in the kitchen doing dishes as I sit in the living room with Jaycent and Milton. All three of us drinking a beer with her dad.

He’s telling us about his new golf clubs when I spot a picture on the mantle. I set my beer on the coffee table and stand. I walk over to it in order to get a closer look.

It’s a baby. A baby boy. He’s wrapped up in a blue blanket, lying in a white crib. He’s sleeping and looks to be only days old. I pick it up, examining it more.

“That’s Henry.”

I look up to see Margaret standing next to me. “He’s beautiful,” I tell her.“Yes. He was.”

I place the picture back at her words and swallow nervously for looking at it. “I’m sorry …”

“No need to be sorry,” she assures me and picks it up herself. “I took this the day we brought him home.”

I frown. “Ashlyn has never mentioned a brother.”

“She didn’t know him,” she says, placing the picture back. “We got pregnant with Henry very young. I was in my last year of law school and already working at the firm full time. He was busy working all hours of the day and night.” She turns to face me. “We weren’t ready for the surprise, but we were happy.” She sighs. “But we didn’t understand what a child meant. We still worked our lives away. We hired a nanny, so he wouldn’t have to go to daycare. One day, we got a phone call that she had found him dead in his crib.”

“I’m so sorry,” I say, feeling awful for bringing up such a bad time.

Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles softly. “So were we.” She then sighs. “We decided that what we needed and what we wanted were two very different things. We both cut back at work. Sold our house and downsized. We decided that our careers could wait.” She chuckles “Why work your life away when you can live it? Anyway, three years later, we found out we were pregnant with Ashlyn. And she was our second chance. To do things right. To see what truly matters.” She places a hand on my shoulder. “She didn’t replace him, but she gave us a second chance to do things right. And not everyone gets that.”

As I listen to Margaret, I can hear the girls laughing and talking in the kitchen.

“Take care of her, please. Her father and I worry about her so much.”

With that, she walks away. I run a hand through my hair and release a sigh. I feel like she was speaking about me. The second chance she gave me after I walked away from her, and the fact I’m about to give up more of my life to take over O’Kane’s. Because she and I both know you can’t have both. One will always suffer.

**

I pull the purple sheets back on Ashlyn’s queen-size bed and crawl in while she takes off her makeup in the adjoining bathroom. I can’t seem to get what her mother told me out of my head. Second chances. What if I fuck up again? Will she give me a third? A fourth? How many times am I gonna fuck up before I realize that she is more important than my career?

“What’s on your mind?” she asks, interrupting my thoughts.

I look up to see her standing at the end of the bed with a smile on her face.

I pat the space beside me. She crawls up the bed and lies down facing me. “Talk to me. I can tell by the look on your face something is wrong. Is it work?”

“No,” I tell her.

“Is it me?” she asks, playfully shoving my shoulder.

“Yes,” I say honestly, and the smile drops off her face.

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