Page 39 of Selfless

I come to a stop when my door opens. Becca walks in and shuts it behind her. She crosses her arms over her chest and lifts her chin. Not a good sign. She’s already on the defense.

“Have a seat,” I say, gesturing to one of my chairs.

“I’ll stand,” she responds flatly.

I sigh and rub the back of my neck nervously. “I … I’m sorry.” Might as well get this part out of the way.

She snorts and looks away from me.

“I truly am sorry,” I tell her. “I …”

“What exactly are you sorry for, Ry?” she asks. “For making a fool of yourself? For barging into my apartment at four in the morning? Or for calling me one of his whores?”

My jaw tightens. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

She pushes her right hip out. “Then what did you mean?”

I throw my hand out to the side in surrender. “I don’t know. I was pissed, okay? Do you think I want you with Jaycent?”

“What is wrong with Jaycent?” she demands.

“He’s my best friend,” I state the obvious.

“He is.” She nods, agreeing with me. “But tell me what the problem is. Tell me why he’s okay to be your best friend but not okay to be mine.”

“Ashlyn is your best friend,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“She is. But so is Jaycent,” she says, taking a step toward me. “Ashlyn was not only my best friend but my only friend for so long,” she whispers, lowering her voice. “She was all I had when I was with Conner.” She looks away and sighs. I can see her eyes start to well with tears. “Jaycent took up for me when no one else did.”

“Took up for you how?” I ask. “What did he do that I couldn’t?” I’m her big brother, after all. I should be the one who takes up for her.

She looks back at me, opening her mouth, and then shuts it, looking away again. “What is it?” I ask. “Ashlyn said there was so much I didn’t know about. What do I not know about, Becca?”

“She’s right,” she says, and the first tear falls down her cheek.

I hate to see her cry. Normally, tears don’t bother me, but when they’re my sister’s, it tears at my heart. I walk over to her, and she allows me to wrap my arms around her. She hugs me back tightly as a sob breaks through.

“It’s gonna be okay,” I say, rubbing her back. “Here, let’s sit down.” I walk her over to my couch and sit down beside her.

She turns to face me, her green eyes glossy and her cheeks wet. She lifts her hands to wipe them away. “I need to know that you support us, Ryder,” she whispers, and I sigh. “I tried to be all tough the other night, but I want you to know it means a lot to me that you’re okay with this.”

“Sis …”

“I love him,” she says through fresh tears. “I love him, and he loves me. That’s enough for me. And it should be enough for you.”

I think about what Ashlyn told me—how I would not only lose a sister but I would also lose a brother—and she’s right. I have always considered Jaycent my best friend and my brother. And it’s not that I don’t agree with them being together, it’s the fact that he hid it from me. But that is a conversation I need to have with him. Not Becca.

I take her hands in mine and smile, hoping she doesn’t see that it’s not a hundred percent real. “I could never not support you, sis. I love you. And if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.”

She throws her arms around me and gives me a big hug, continuing to cry on my shoulder. After a few minutes, she pulls away and wipes her face.

“Now tell me what I don’t know,” I urge.

An hour later, I have canceled two meetings and declined countless phone calls due to listening to my sister pour her heart out to me. And I’m more pissed off than I was at four a.m. the other morning.

I realize I have missed a lot. I thought my life was falling apart by losing Ashlyn when my sister was the one truly hurting. She filled me in on things about her relationship with Conner. Things that I would have never guessed. I mean, I hated the guy, but I had no idea just how horrible he was to her. She filled me in on how Conner told Jaycent that my mother had paid him to practically fuck her. Then the fact that Vicki knew about it. And how when she confronted our mom, she didn’t even try to deny it.

I just sat there, shaking my head at times and fisting my hands. Pure hot rage went through me at what my mother had put her through. For no fucking reason other than being a selfish bitch!

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