Page 37 of Selfless

The next thing I know, his fist connects with my jaw, and the power behind it knocks me on my ass. Sprawled out on the kitchen floor, I look up at him.

His jaw clenches as he stares down at me with pure hatred, and I realize I may have made a mistake.

“Jaycent …” I sigh.

“I’m not having this conversation with you, Ryder,” he says through gritted teeth. “I don’t have to justify why or how I love her. Because it really just comes down to I don’t give a damn what you fucking think.” And then he walks out, leaving me sitting on the cold floor.

I sit up and touch my jaw and hiss in a breath from the sting of his punch. I look up as Ashlyn walks in, stepping over my legs and walking to the fridge. She pulls out an ice pack and then hands it to me.

Taking it from her, I press it to my face. “Thanks,” I mumble. My face is not the only thing hurt. My pride is pretty bruised.

She leans against the countertop and sighs heavily as she drops her head to look down at me. “You’re mad at the wrong person,” she says, and I frown.

“He kept a secret from me. A big one,” I argue.

“You should be mad at yourself,” she says, and I start shaking my head. “Yes,” she argues. “There’s so much you don’t know, Ryder.” I frown at her words. “Your sister is in love with a man who treats her right and loves her back. And you and I both know he is a much better person than Conner.” She looks away, taking a deep breath, and I hate that he was right. That I pushed everyone away because of her. That I didn’t have to go this past week without her. I could have been with her all along. Now my chances are smaller than they were when I thought I had lost her to Bradley. “That man loves her. That man wanted to tell you a hundred times, but he didn’t because she was too afraid if you found out that you would ruin the best thing that ever happened to her.”

“Ashlyn …” I start as I stand, removing the ice pack from my face.

“Have you ever stopped and listened to anyone other than your father?” she asks softly.I frown. “What does that mean?” What does my father have to do with my sister being in love with my best friend?

She runs a hand through her hair. “It means if it doesn’t have potential to make you money, you ignore it.”

She’s not the first woman who has said something along those lines.

“That’s what’s wrong with all of you.” Leslie looks from me to Jaycent and then back to me. “All you care about is what you can buy. Nothing to you holds value.”

I remember Leslie saying those words to me as she stood inside my apartment. But at the time, I didn’t understand. Now that Ashlyn has come along, I can see the meaning behind the words.

“That’s not fair,” I say but don’t argue because she’s right.

She looks away from me and lets out a laugh that holds no humor. “Life isn’t fair. And neither is love,” she adds. “Everyone in her world seems to be against her love for Jaycent.”

“Nobody knows about it except for you and me,” I say confused by her words.

Her blue eyes meet mine, and I hate the way they look so cold. Not like the ones that looked at me a week ago when she was chasing me out of this apartment. Those eyes held desperation, and now I understand why. She was afraid of losing me. But somehow, over the course of a week, she’s moved on. “Yes, they do. Your mother knows. Your father knows …”

“What? How in the hell am I the last to know about this?”

“You were too busy ignoring her because of me, and you missed out on so much.” She runs a hand through her messy blond hair. “You have a choice, Ryder. Either accept it or not. That’s up to you. But when she pushes you away, it will be nobody else’s fault but yours, and you won’t only lose a sister but you’ll lose a brother as well. Because he’ll take her side. That’s how it should be when you love someone.” She turns to walk away.

But I reach out and grab her, pulling her to a stop. “Why are you for their relationship?” I ask, wanting to understand. There must be something here that I’m missing.

She looks down at my hand wrapped around her arm and then her eyes meet mine. “The real question is why are you against it?”

ASHLYN

I turn and give him my back and walk to my room.

“And you?” I hear him ask.

“Me what?” I ask as I turn around, holding in a sigh. “I already told you how I feel about them.”

“I know. I’m talking about us.” He places the ice pack on the counter. “How do you feel about us?”

Us? He thinks there’s an us? He walks out of the kitchen, and my heart beats faster as he nears me. Now that we are all alone, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about those three words he said outside the restaurant—I love you!

My lips part, and I suck in a long breath, trying to calm myself, but it doesn’t work. He’s had this effect on me since I first saw him, and the time apart hasn’t helped.

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