Page 36 of Selfless

“How should I word it?” I snap. “Because that’s how I see it.”

“Ryder.” Ashlyn says my name in warning.

I look at my sister and demand, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because of this reaction,” she says as if it’s obvious.

“Well, of course, I’m gonna react this way. He’s my best friend and seven years older than you are.”

“I’m seven years younger than you are, and you didn’t have a problem fucking me,” Ashlyn says with an arch of her brows.

“That’s …” Fuck! “Different …”

“Why?” she demands, standing. “Because I was just a fuck?”

My shoulders slump. “I didn’t mean that, and you know it.”

She places her hands on her hips. “Actually, I didn’t know that, so why don’t you explain it?”

“I was mad at you,” I say as if that justifies my actions.

“And that makes it okay?” she snaps.

“Stop!” Becca calls out. “Both of you just stop.” She points a finger at me. “I’m not gonna let you tell me who I can and can’t love.”

“Love?” I ask with a snort. “You can’t possibly …”

“I hooked up with Jaycent four years ago, Ryder,” she declares.

My mouth falls open, and I look over at the man I call my best friend. “Four years ago?” I ask breathlessly, and he hangs his head as if he didn’t want me to know that.

“Yes,” she answers me, and I look back at her. She narrows her green eyes at me, and then she smiles. “And we’ve decided to move in together.”

I start shaking my head. “You can’t be serious—”

“I am!” she snaps, interrupting me. “And you have no chance at changing my mind, Ryder.” I open my mouth, but she continues. “Now, my ass is going back to bed. Good night.” Then she turns and gives me her back.

I turn to face Ashlyn and Jaycent. He faces me as the coffeemaker turns on. He leans his back against the countertop and places his arms over his chest as if daring me to say something. To challenge him.

And I’m not gonna pass this up. I’ve got an entire week of rage built up in me. I walk over into the kitchen and come to a stop in front of him. I take a deep breath and try not to just go off on him. Four years? He slept with her four years ago. She would have been …what? Seventeen? Eighteen?

“How could you not tell me this?” I say, trying to keep my voice down now that Becca went back to bed.

“Ryder, I wanted to—”

“No! You didn’t!” I interrupt him. “Or you would have!” I snap.

He takes a step toward me as he narrows his brown eyes at me. “I tried!” he growls. “But then you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself over Ashlyn.”

“This has nothing to do with Ashlyn,” I argue.

“It has everything to do with her.” He points over at where she sits on the couch. “You haven’t cared about anyone else but yourself for a week, and now all of a sudden you want to know what Becca and I are up to?”

“That’s because I didn’t know about the two of you. It’s obviously been going on for a while,” I snap. “Believe me, I would have been all over it.”

“Why because you wouldn’t have allowed it?” he growls. “Like we need your fucking permission.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t have!” I snap. “I’ve seen how you treat your whores.” His eyes widen before narrowing into little slits. “You think you can make her happy? That you’re better than Conner?” I ask, shaking my head. “You’re not. You’re gonna break her heart and then what? You’re just gonna walk away from her like you did Jasmine.”

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