Page 77 of Myself

BECCA

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I sit on the couch; my shoes are tossed on the floor, and a blanket covers my lap while I’m watching TV. Top Gun plays on the screen, a movie that I could repeat line for line. It’s also Ashlyn’s favorite, which is why I picked it.

Food litters the coffee table in front of me along with a glass of white wine. I’ve turned the TV up louder than I would normally listen to it in an attempt to draw Ashlyn out of her room. I can’t help but smile when I hear her door open. She’s a little past her thirty minutes but better later than never. Moments later, I hear a meow, and then Harry is jumping up into my lap.

“Hey, boy,” I say, petting his back. “Did you miss me?” I ask as if he can answer. He just meows.

“What are you doing in here?”

I look up to see Ashlyn standing by the couch. Ryder’s shirt hangs off her shoulders, and a pair of white shorts peek out from underneath. “Eating dinner and watching a movie,” I say, and she turns to look at the TV. Her hair is still wet from her bath, but it’s pulled up in a clippie.

She looks back down at me. “Wanna join me?” I ask, patting the seat next to me. She falls down beside me, and I hide my smile by looking away from her.

“Didn’t think I had a choice.” I don’t say anything ‘cause she didn’t. “Why aren’t you out with Jaycent?” she asks softly.

“He went out with Ryder,” I say, and the moment the words leave my mouth, I look over at her with regret.

Her eyes meet mine, and they instantly fill with tears. “I’m so sorry.”

She shakes her head. “Not your fault.”

I let go of Harry and reach out to grab her hand. “I know this looks bad, but there’s an easy fix to this.”

“And what’s that?” she asks, not looking at me.

“You can call him.”

“He won’t answer.”

“Then text him,” I urge.

“He won’t read it,” she says softly.

“You don’t know that,” I argue.

She lets out a sigh and turns to face me. A single tear runs down her face. “Can we just watch the movie?” she asks. “I don’t wanna talk about Ryder anymore tonight.”

I nod. Leaning over, I grab the extra plate of Chinese food off the coffee table and sit back, handing it over to her. She takes it without question and starts eating it as I softly smile at her. I know my brother, and he just needs some time. He’ll come back. And he’ll come back needing her just as much as she needs him.

My phone dings, and I look down to see it’s a message from Jaycent.

Jaycent: I’ve got Ryder, and we are leaving the bar.

I sigh in relief, knowing he’s not going home with another woman. I look over at Ashlyn as she watches TV. “The guys are on their way home,” I inform her just to see what she says.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No. Just thought you would want to know,” I offer.

She’s quiet for a few seconds and then sighs heavily. “How did I get here?” she asks. I’m not sure if she’s talking to me or herself, so I stay silent. She shifts on the couch. “I never wanted this to happen. That’s why I tried to push him away.”

“But it did,” I say.

“And look where we are at now,” she says, opening her arms out wide. “I’m here with you, and he’s out at a bar.”

“He’s headed home,” I correct her.

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