Page 58 of Myself

“I’m not going to tell Ryder who he can and can’t date. And I think Ashlyn seems like a good kid.”

“So it’s okay for Ryder to be with Ashlyn, but you don’t like the fact that I’m with Jaycent? How is that even fair?” I say, gritting my teeth.

“It’s different with you. You’re my little girl,” he says softly, and I look away from him. My father and I never had heart-to-heart talks. We never played Barbies or rode bicycles. He was always busy working, and I was busy doing all the shit my mother had me busy doing. “I just want you happy,” he finally says.

“I am happy,” I say with a smile. Then I add, “Please don’t tell Ryder that you know he’s with Ashlyn. Then he’ll wonder who told you and you’ll have to say that I was comparing their relationship to mine and Jaycent’s,” I say in a rush.

“I don’t understand why you don’t want him to know,” he says with a frown.

“Because ...” I take a deep breath. “For once, I’m doing something for me. I don’t care to hear anyone else’s opinion about how I live my life.”

He stares at me for a long moment and then finally nods his head as if he can relate to that. “Do you feel safe with him?” he asks.

“Jaycent would never let anything happen to me,” I say, remembering that he told me he beat up Conner. I know he would do whatever it takes to keep me safe.

“I’m not saying he would,” he argues.

“Then what are you saying?” I demand.

He lets out a long breath. “I just feel like I should have never let things get as far as they did with Conner.”

“I was an adult too then, Dad. You couldn’t have stopped him from going to Seattle with me.”

“I didn’t like you two living together,” he states.

“Well, that is over now. So you don’t have to worry about it anymore.” I feel guilty that I just agreed to move in with Jaycent.

He huffs. “Just promise me that you’ll be careful.”

I nod. “I promise.” Then my eyes drop down to my hands in my lap.

“What else is there that you need to tell me?” he asks with a sigh. He can read me so well.

I look up at him through my lashes and whisper, “I’m moving in with Jaycent.”

“This is a little fast,” he says with worry in his voice.

I straighten my back. “It’s not fast. This is what we want.”

“And your apartment?” he questions.

“I haven’t figured that out yet,” I say honestly.

He sighs heavily. “Well, when you do, let me know.”

“Of course.”

“Okay.” He pushes off his desk and walks around to sit behind it. He undoes his button and sits in his chair. “Now tell me about this clothing business of yours.”

“What all did Mom tell you?” I ask first off.

“That you want to give your clothes to homeless people,” he says simply.

“That’s not what I said,” I growl.

“That’s why I’m asking you.”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I want to open a clothing store here in Manhattan, and for every item purchased, I’ll donate one to a shelter.”

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