Page 47 of Myself

I lie in Becca’s bed, staring up at her ceiling. She lies naked and sleeping beside me. That yellow comforter still wadded up in her corner. She had some kind of breakdown earlier, and I’m not sure if it was good or bad. My mom once told me at times it was necessary to sit down and have a good cry—it cleansed your soul. My father said crying was for the weak. I never knew which one was more accurate until tonight.

She needed to let some things out. To just be held as she cried. And I think it was therapeutic for her. Afterward, she looked up and told me she loved me. Those words were a high better than anything any street dealer could sell me. It’s been a few hours since we made love, and I still haven’t come down.

But there’s still the fact Conner showed up again. What do I do with him? Do I go to her mom? Do I tell her that I think she’s a fucking bitch and that I know she is paying him? Or go to her father? Can either one really help me? Her protection is my number one priority at the moment. And Ashlyn’s too.

I roll over onto my side and pull her to me. She lets out a sigh as she snuggles into me, and I kiss her head. “Good night, Becca. I love you,” I whisper to her even though I know she’s already out. I just like the way it sounds when I say it.

**

My body is shaken, and I shove whoever the intruder is away. I’m not ready to wake up.

“Jaycent?” I hear my name and then feel two small hands on my bare shoulders. “Jaycent?”

“Hmm?” I mumble, turning away from it. The warm and soft pillow enveloping my head.

“Jaycent,” she snaps, and then I’m slapped hard on the face.

“What?” I ask sitting up quickly.

Becca straddles me, her green eyes wide and full of panic. “What’s wrong, babe?” I slur sheepishly, looking around her room as the light from outside her windows shines in. Things start to clear the longer my eyes are open. Is he back? Did Conner try to hurt her? I grab her bare shoulders and run my hands up and down her arms. “You okay?” I ask in a rush, finally awake.

She slaps her hand over my lips and lifts her free hand to place a finger over her lips. “Ryder is in the apartment,” she whispers.

I listen quietly and hear his voice followed by Ashlyn’s from what sounds like the kitchen. “Babe ...” Her hand tightens on my face. I shove it away and grab her upper arms, tossing her off me and onto her back. I straddle her this time.

She narrows her eyes up at me. “He’ll hear us in here.”

I give her a sly smile as I look down at her. “Jayce ...” I love it when she calls me Jayce. No one ever has. It’s her nickname for me. When she was younger and trying to learn how to say my name, she pronounced it Yace. And the older she got, the more it started to sound like Jayce. It stuck. And I’ve never loved a name more. Besides her name, of course.

“Shh,” I tell her as I place my hands on her small ribcage. Her eyes widen as she places her hands around my wrists, trying to pry them off.

“Don’t you dare,” she warns.

“What?” I dig my fingers into her ribs.

She squirms and kicks her feet underneath me. “Stop it, Jayce. If he hears us, I’m gonna be so pissed at you,” she whispers harshly.

I can’t help but laugh at her hard tone. This is the woman I’ve always wanted her to be. Feisty. Something more than a woman who was constantly beaten down by a man supposed to love her. “What are you gonna do?” I ask, arching a brow.

“I won’t give you sex for a week,” she says, lifting her chin.

I laugh harder, and she’s frantic to place her hand over my mouth again, but I pull my head back to where she can’t reach it. “I’m gonna call your bluff.” I dig my fingers in deeper and tickle her like I used to when we were little.

She squeals loudly and then places her hands over her own mouth as she tries to get out from underneath me. I can’t help the smile on my face, and the hardening of my cock as her perfect tits bounce from her thrashing around.

I suddenly stop to give her a second to catch her breath. Her dark brown hair covers her face, and her chest rises and falls quickly as she sucks in breath after breath. “You ... are ...” She swallows. “So dead,” she finishes.

“Then I’d better make it worth it,” I say and start doing it again.

“I’m gonna pee my pants.” She gasps.

I stop and place my hands on either side of her face, and before she can even suck in another breath, my lips are on hers. I kiss her deeply. My tongue stroking hers, and this time when she shifts underneath me, it’s not to get away but to pull me closer.

When I pull away, I smile down at her. “That’s what I wanted to see.”

“What?” she asks, taking a deep breath.

I run my thumb over her wet bottom lip. “That smile.”

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